First of all, I prayed the wrong morning prayer this morning because I had no idea what week we were in and I forgot about St. Mattias! And that it is a "high solemnity" as one friend told me. But, I'm kind of glad I prayed the wrong week, because the antiphons and canticle were perfect for me today. The first antiphon was "My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready." Before I continued on with the psalm I was like "whoa." It just fit so perfectly into my current situations. I kind of realized that no matter what happens in life, God prepares our heart for it. So this whole thing with a guy... whether we're going to move forward with a relationship or not, I have to trust that it be God's will. I've been praying about it so much and it has occupied my mind a lot these past few days. I know what I want, but I have no idea what God's plans are! I just have to trust and know that my heart will be taken care of by my Father.
Another think I thought about during the psalm was going to Texas. My heart is ready, God! Ok, maybe not... I just took a second to think about how I'll be leaving all I know to go to a state I've never been to before and to completely surrender over my will to abide by His and help bring others closer to God. In a sense, I know I am ready. I have strong friendships with people and I know God is watching over them, and that we'll keep in touch in our time away from each other. I'm ready to start my vocation as a minister to the Church; hopefully in youth ministry! God has kept me strong in so many situations, I know I'm ready to take on another one. I just have to keep trusting.
Real world, watch out, for my heart is ready!