Friday, May 16, 2008

Revelation of the Day

Today while I was driving back home after picking up some stuff from my dad's for my graduation party, I had a revelation. It isn't anything new, I know this about myself when I'm doing it, but today... I don't know, it just dawned on me that knowing this can affect how I work! I like to work by myself, without people around or others watching over me. It is why I was so overwhelmed while packing up to move out after graduation, because there was a TON of people around, and I can't work at my own pace, I felt rushed and that I had to be doing something. Even with planning stuff; I'm not much for group projects and I hope to have a lot of independence when I'm in Fort Worth so I can come up with my own ideas and implement them, and not having someone breathing down my back. I don't think it will be like that; we'll see! This week I've been (very slowly) cleaning up stuff from college; I have stuff all over my bedroom and the living room, plus the kitchen. I just get so unmotivated sometimes... I'll move like..4 things, and then take a break. It's kind of pathetic, actually! But hey, oh well. So tonight, I was telling my mom she should go to our old neighbors house, since they're getting together. She wanted to go in the first place, but we have this house to clean up. I told her to go, and I'd clean. Well, she didn't believe me! But really, I like to work best by myself. Hmm, maybe an aspect of it is so people can see the progress and be surprised. I don't know. Those were my thoughts of the day! I'm sure I had plenty more on my walk back from Mass this morning too. I've been trying to not drive my car, so I ride with my mom to work, go to Mass, and then walk home, which is about an hour walk. I get to save money and exercise! Awesome! Well, that is probably enough rambling for one day, plus I'm hungry and I think we're eating soon.

Our Lady of Perpetual Help, pray for us!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My Heart is Ready

First of all, I prayed the wrong morning prayer this morning because I had no idea what week we were in and I forgot about St. Mattias! And that it is a "high solemnity" as one friend told me. But, I'm kind of glad I prayed the wrong week, because the antiphons and canticle were perfect for me today. The first antiphon was "My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready." Before I continued on with the psalm I was like "whoa." It just fit so perfectly into my current situations. I kind of realized that no matter what happens in life, God prepares our heart for it. So this whole thing with a guy... whether we're going to move forward with a relationship or not, I have to trust that it be God's will. I've been praying about it so much and it has occupied my mind a lot these past few days. I know what I want, but I have no idea what God's plans are! I just have to trust and know that my heart will be taken care of by my Father.

Another think I thought about during the psalm was going to Texas. My heart is ready, God! Ok, maybe not... I just took a second to think about how I'll be leaving all I know to go to a state I've never been to before and to completely surrender over my will to abide by His and help bring others closer to God. In a sense, I know I am ready. I have strong friendships with people and I know God is watching over them, and that we'll keep in touch in our time away from each other. I'm ready to start my vocation as a minister to the Church; hopefully in youth ministry! God has kept me strong in so many situations, I know I'm ready to take on another one. I just have to keep trusting.

Real world, watch out, for my heart is ready!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Graduation... now what!?!

Well, I graduated on Saturday! It was such an overwhelming weekend! And I'm not only talking about the packing that I despised. Sr. Josie came for graduation, so she could graduate with her class! It was one of the most amazing things ever and such a blessing to see her, along with her Postulant Director and five other postulants.

The ceremony was wonderful. One cool part was before we even got inside the gymnasium, we had lined up for walking, and then all of the faculty and some staff walked through us, then they lined up and we walked through them, and we applauded each other. And simply walking into the gymnasium I was so overtaken with mixed emotions. All those people were here for us! The 2008 graduating class of Saint Mary's! I think I teared up a couple times during the ceremony, but nothing I couldn't blink away!

Afterwards at the reception was a lot of fun, and I didn't cry once there! I thought it was quite an accomplishment. haha. Later on that day though... saying bye to some friends was very difficult. I think our crying even made my mom tear up! The friendships made at college are one of a kind. Fr. Steffes, earlier this week, told me about staying close to those whom God wills for us to have a close relationship with. I wish I could remember more of what he said... but basically to trust in God to keep the friends close who will always be there. Maybe not physically, but, as a I told a friend last night, that is why cell phones were created! Praise God!

So... here I am, a college graduate.... at home. With TONS of stuff! AH! I'm so glad I don't have to be at any job right now, unlike some people! I can take this week to sort through stuff and clean up everything else. It certainly will be a large project, but what else am I supposed to do!?! Summer, here I come!