Stages of Change

The other night during Adoration I was thinking about how we, as humans, go through phases and change throughout our lives. But as I continued to reflect further, I wondered if we really change or do we simply continue to grow into the person God created us to be. But growing could be change... as we physically grow older, our bodies change, but is that the change that happens in our minds and hearts? I'm only 25, so I've experienced some "change" and growth, but not as much as a person who is, say, 50, or even 70 years old. The following are what I would say are key moments in formative change in one's life:

• Starting high school and then Junior year (when one begins to seriously consider college and look to the future).
• College - Freshman year and Senior year
• 6 months out of college (either that's after a bachelor degree or master's degree) and learning how to be an adult (and paying student loans...)
• Engagement and Marriage - making that leap into a commitment you'll have for the rest of your life
• Children

I know there can be a lot more and it depends on how people approach life and the events they go through, but those are my top 5. I've only gone through the first three and I know there was a lot of growth and development of my personhood in those years. I also believe that the most difficult transition comes from school (college) to adulthood. Sometimes I think back on my college experience and remember how great my prayer life was and I wish it could be like that now, but I also have to remember that I'm at a different place in my life and it can't be the same! So now I have to figure all that out and what does work best for me?

Ok, ramble time is up... back to work! Hopefully the mice won't come out to play until after I'm gone...

1.11.11

Today is a pretty cool day...1/11/11. So many ones! The day started with 8th grade bible study where we finished watching the movie "The Star of Bethlehem." It's pretty cool how an ordinary guy took it upon himself to investigate the star present at the birth of Jesus, but I don't think all his theology is correct. If his findings were 100% correct, why hasn't any church come out and supported him and his research? One thing that stuck out to me was that he said the wise men were probably Jewish, since they had knowledge of Scripture. In my Ignatius Study Bible it said the Magi were Gentiles, which makes sense, since they were from Persia. He also calculated everything and shows that the Magi would have appeared on December 25th, bringing their gifts. Is that what really went down? I'm just a little skeptical, but hello American culture! I think the website is bethlehemstar.net

So then I went to the diocesan youth ministry network; youth minsters from the diocese gather once a month or lunch and are then told about events going on and the like. It's a lot better after attending NCCYM in New Orleans; before I went to the conference and got to hang out more with the yms of the diocese, going to the lunch networks were actually pretty awkward. I was the new person and didn't quite know what to do! But now I feel better about seeing everyone. I'm super excited for NCYC taking place this coming November. It seems like that is right around the corner! But first things first: summer. I'll be taking a group to Steubenville South, which I'm also pumped for and I'm hoping to take a minimum of five teens. We shall see!

Enough with the random post... adios for now!

The Ultimate Couple

At Mass this past Sunday I started to think about my grandparents and miss them. It seemed sort of random, I'm not sure what brought it on, but probably the holiday season. My grandpa passed away in February 2009 and my grandma passed away six months later in August 2009. Later that day I wrote a little something about them, thinking about the stories my dad shared with me. It's not perfect, but here it is:

The Ultimate Couple

I didn't even know them that well, but I now know that they were the ultimate couple. Every year brings new stories about my grandparents, especially after their deaths. Some are sad and others are joyful. I know their love ran deep for their grandchildren, but they didn't often express it. My brother and I were their "candy testers," a job we certainly enjoyed (and which probably later led to my brother not liking sweets). We probably spent the night a few times, but only one time do I have memories from; we watched a show on miracles, especially those dealing with Mary. The TV was often on some show or another. My family stopped by after church on Sundays, but when my parents got divorced, my trips were less frequent. My more vivid memories are when they were both ill, especially my grandpa. Every time I saw him he would say that might be the last time. The Christmas before he died was probably the hardest. We all knew he wouldn't be around for very long but put on smiles nonetheless. When I got in my dad's car that night I cried. Saying goodbye is hard, especially when you don't know when you'll say goodbye for the final time.

Till the end, until my grandma's death six months after my grandpa's, their love for each other and their bonds remained strong. They took care of each other, even if it meant only offering a friendly conversation or a loving glance. They were each other's lives, which explains the short period of time between the deaths; my grandma just couldn't live without the love of her life. My dad tells stories about how they'd fight and argue and he was always afraid they would get a divorce, but later on they always made up and went about life as usual. They also talked every morning; my dad says that was one of his favorite things about them. Before they got up for the day they talked. Even into their old ages they always had things to talk about. I wish I had known them better, that we would have had a better relationship. I wrote them cards, but never called. I was scared for some reason. Maybe it was my way of protecting my heart from pain after death, but somehow I think it might be worse.

Life Got in the Way

For a long time I've thought about blogging, I've come up with different ideas of what to blog on, but then I kept working, or when not at work, relaxing, because who wants to work when they're home!? Anyway, I'm still here with hopes to do more... eventually!

In the meantime, here's a great little video for the season:

God Moment

Recently I've fallen into this great habit of reading a chapter from the Bible while I eat my cereal in the morning. The first day I thought this would be a good idea is when my (new) Saint Mary's Press Family Connection Bible was on my dining table. I decided to flip it open and then I became giddy and started to laugh because I turned directly to my favorite Scripture passage, the one this blog is named after: Romans 12:9-12. Seriously, what are the odds of that happening!? Thank you, Holy Spirit! It still makes me smile thinking about it. Since then I've been reading a chapter from Paul's great letter to the Romans. I can't name precisely why I'm more interested in reading the Bible now, but I can say I'm glad this spark was started in me.

Trust Issues

Who doesn't have them!? I was thinking and praying about trust a lot during Adoration last Sunday. It probably all started from reading the Intro to With Open Hands, a Nouwen classic. The reflection was focused on what we are holding on to, such as our fears, and I began to reflect on my Echo experience. I had to put a lot of trust into God... was this the right thing? Trusting God had a plan for me in Texas, the last place I wanted to be. That got me thinking about real trust. I think we can often say we are trusting in God's plan for our lives, but how often are those just words? I don't know the answer to that, but I'd like to think that I had genuine trust. I was happy (for the most part) in Texas and I let my gifts be used. Well, that got me thinking about Echo summers and how Echo 5, especially Cafe Disco, brought out the best in me. I believe that is testimony enough that I did let go of my fears and started trusting God's plan.

One of the things I fear the most is my future and having no idea where it's headed. Included in that is the relationship I'm in. We've talked about the future, about marriage, but he isn't always sure about it, so sometimes I get worried and stress over it. But as soon as I realized that and knew that I had to let it go and trust that whatever does happen with this relationship is the will of God, I felt this great peace sweep over me. I certainly have my plans and what I want (again, who doesn't!?), but part of my plan needs to be trusting in God's plan, whether they coincide or not. I believe we are given certain desires for a reason. Why did I want to become a youth minister? Because I was given the gift of working with youth, and now here I am, employed full-time at a parish!

Sometimes you just know... you know it's love and it's meant to last, you know what you want to do and be, you know the decisions you need to make and those you don't. I like to call those "God things" or "God moments" because you know it's all a part of His divine plan and you're happy where you are, genuinely happy and you feel at peace. Praise God for those reassuring times!

Eat, Pray, Love

A few weeks ago, when my dad was in town visiting me, we went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love. I hadn't read the book and my dad was part of the way through it, but we both wanted to see the movie. Despite what the US Bishops said about the movie, I liked it. They're discouraging people from seeing it because of the acceptance of divorce and the nonmarital and premarital relations that happen throughout the story line. Apart from those details, it was great! It gave a little insight into three completely different countries: Italy, India, and Indonesia. Each experience in the distinct countries corresponds to her title; she ate in Italy, prayed in India, and fell in love in Indonesia. The bishops also criticize the movie for it's lack of, or perhaps complete disregard for Christianity and "ignoring [it] as a source of insight." In the book Liz Gilbert does write on Christianity. The purpose of her year-long excursions to these exotic places was a self-indulgent, self-seeking "pampered pilgrimage."

While the movie doesn't follow the book perfectly, you get a general feel for the book and the adventures that Liz Gilbert experienced. After seeing the movie I zipped over to Amazon.com and bought the book. I cannot say that I agree with a lot of the decisions Gilbert made and how she went about things, but I can say that there are some valuable lessons to be learned from her travels and own insights. As I continue to travel along with Liz in her written account I plan on writing my own observations. I like to call it: Catholicizing Eat, Pray, Love.

First Middle School Event

Last night I held my first middle school event called Saturday Night Live (SNL). They were very popular last year and for my first one I had no clue how many to expect. I had some games in mind and I thought it would be fun to make our own pizzas (using English muffins or the thin sandwich buns). Well, the kids kept coming and I think I had a total of about 35. I guess I was expecting, perhaps even hoping, for 20-30 to show, but once their bodies are physically present, 35 seems a lot larger than it did in my head. I was so overwhelmed and I really had no idea what to do; they had so much energy. Plus they're really bad at listening. Extremely bad.

I learned a few lessons: order pizza instead of making your own... that takes too long to do! Reserve the gym... they can be more wild and crazy there. Have more ideas for middle school games: during the night I realized that some games I had planned out were not going to work with the middle school bunch. Over prepare. 


Middle school ministry is not one of my strengths and if it was up to me, I wouldn't want to do another middle school event... but it's part of my job. Before my next event I'll be sitting down with the DRE to talk about planning middle school events and how we can un-do what happened last year (where they only played games and had no faith or prayer elements). We at least prayed at the end of the event last night. :)

In 5 years?

What do I want to be doing in five years? Yikes, I don't even know what I'll be doing next year! I assume I'll still be working at St. Andrew with youth ministry, and maybe I'll be doing that in five years as well, but who knows! I've been asked that question twice in the past few months. I have hopes and dreams of what I want to do, but right now I'm simply trying to focus on my immediate job. It takes some time getting used to and settling into a new position, but I'm sure in a year from now I'll have things running smoothly. And maybe then I can put a little more focus on things I'd like to be doing in five years. What is it that I'd like to do? I would like to write more, not only for my blog, but also a book. I think that would be really awesome; I even have a friend who would edit it for me! I'd also like to have some speaking engagements - whether it's for a local parish or conference, or maybe someday a larger conference in a different state. What do I want to write about and speak on? Good question. I've always had an interest in speaking on and sharing the importance of chastity and purity, but maybe my interests will change as I continue to work in youth ministry. Lord, let it be done to me according to your word. God's got His plan and I have my hopes... maybe they'll coincide with each other. :)

Youth Ministry Obstacles

At times it seems like parents are the biggest obstacles to youth ministry when they should be its advocates! Not all parents are challenging and some understand what Comprehensive Youth Ministry means; I do not want to downplay the help they have already provided.

Last night was the first night of our "youth group" or "youth night." Ours may be a little different from other parishes because it also counts for religious education classes. It's open to all high school students and yes, there is a catechesis component to it. A mom came in to bring her daughter and to introduce herself, since she has been an important part of our middle school ministry in the past. When she heard that it also counted as religious education she was about ready to take her daughter home since she goes to the Catholic high school and gets her religious ed from there. And she somehow thinks that is enough. I suppose she assumed that my youth night would always be a social night... but I am not holding a strictly social night every Sunday! What about faith?  What about learning? Where does true fellowship and community come from? It looks like my challenge will be to teach parents what Comprehensive Youth Ministry means; it's not all about the fun and games, there are eight components that need to be incorporated into youth ministry. This could either be a rough year or a very fruitful year. I choose fruitful.