12romans

What is Love?

2012-02-14T16:20:00.003-06:00

It's Valentine's day, so it's only fitting, right!?

"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more."

If you watched the video, it's more like "What is lust?" And unfortunately today, those two "L" words get mixed up too easily. And if people think they won't get hurt with love, then they have a false notion of what love truly means. I might even argue that one doesn't know true love until they experience some sort of hurt or pain from it. We're human, so sometimes we say and do stupid things that hurt those we are closest to, usually without meaning to hurt them, of course. It doesn't always have to be hurt, it could be the sting that comes from missing someone. Whether they are in a different state, deployed in a different country, or have moved on from this world to the next, missing a loved one can hurt. Whatever it is, it always hurts more when it concerns someone we love.

Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice we make every day.

Obviously we should celebrate love every day, not just on Valentine's Day, and of course there are a lot of people who pass it off as another day, saying they don't need a special day to tell someone they love them. While this is true, I think February 14th offers us a great opportunity to reflect on love and celebrate the love that we do have in our life. We don't always tell our loved ones how much we care, whether they are significant others, spouses, or even friends. It's also a day to celebrate God's love. How easy it is to forget the love of our Father. Maybe there is a reason why Valentine's Day falls so close around Lent (and during Lent in some years). Those 40+ days give us a great opportunity to reflect on the love that God has for us and how we can attempt to give even a portion of that love back.

So whether you show your love today with gifts, words of affirmation, or simply spending time with those you love, let it be from the heart and include God in all you do.

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."
Pedro Arrupe, SJ (former superior general of the Jesuits, 1917-91)

Sunday Surprises

2012-02-13T15:52:00.000-06:00

Last night at youth group we did the "Self-protection" lesson that we're supposed to give once a year. We usually focus on the internet in some extent, and last night was about cyberbullying and revealing too much and then I brought it all back to how we can use technology and social media as tools to evangelize. At the end of the night I handed out paper cell phones for the high school youth to write prayers on; the catch was that they had to be 140 characters or less and were supposed to be about technology, either thanksgiving or asking for help to use it for the greater glory of God.

As I was walking around the tables, taking the "cell phones" that were done, I saw one guy wrote on his "Jesus help me." Short and sweet. I saw it and connected it to the shortest verse in the entire bible: Jesus wept. I asked the boy if he knew what the shortest verse was and proceeded to tell him. And then moved on to the next table.

As I looked at the prayers today, one really caught my eye. At the same table with three-word-prayer guy was our autistic student. He's high-functioning, but I usually don't count on him to do the activity. His cell phone prayer was also quite simple, and yet profound. He must have heard my conversation with the first guy, because this was on his cell phone:

How quick we do forget those words. And with everything going on in our world, especially our country today (HHS mandate, Planned Parenthood/Komen fiasco, everything else), I'm sure those words are still true.

I want to write

2012-02-07T12:16:00.004-06:00

I want to write...as in, professionally. I've been thinking a lot about my current job and the thing I like to do most is put together my own lesson plans and bible studies. And let's face it, there aren't a lot of Catholic bible studies for teens out there (unless they're hiding, and in that case, they need to come out, come out wherever they are!). So I told the bf that I could write and put together Catholic youth bible studies! I'm working on the Book of Job right now for my Wednesday night high school bible study. I have one resource from Loyola Press (Six Weeks with the Bible: Job), which is fine and dandy, but some of the questions do not pertain to youth.

Yes, I enjoy putting these things together, but it's also time consuming. If there were good bible study programs out there, it definitely would make my job a lot easier. So maybe I can make it easier for others...some day. Turns out there are a TON of Catholic publishing companies! I guess I just need to write more, which always seems to be such a problem due to the lack of time. If I had a netbook I could carry around everywhere I went (or I guess even a tablet would do), then I could write down all my ideas and form things from there. Would anyone like to be a benefactor to me and gift me one of those awesome devices!? I would dedicate books to you and you'd also be on my daily prayer list. I think that sounds awesome. :)

Jan 22 (23) - Day of Penance

2012-01-23T16:14:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I attended a Traditional Latin (high) Mass with some friends and the bf. They attend on a regular basis, but for me, it was my first experience of how the mass was celebrated for hundreds of years until the 1950s and 60s. Call me crazy, but I even wore the veil. Yeah...a little weird.

I had an ok experience. I'm told it will get better the more I go because I'll actually know what's going on. :) I definitely missed parts of the mass; almost missed the consecration because the priest does it silently (except for the bells) and I was trying to follow along with the prayers he was saying. Also missed the final gospel, which was read silently as well. Overall it went by fairly quickly (maybe because I didn't know what was going on), and that was with a 1/2 hour homily! It turns out that these traditional priests (FSSP) definitely want their flock going to heaven and are concerned for the state of their souls and basically the souls of the world. Last week's homily was on defining marriage and yesterday's homily was on contraception (more or less). It fit in perfectly with the news that the government will be forcing non-profits (Catholic agencies and churches) to include contraceptives into their health care plans (I'm sure most of you have heard this, I'm not going into details) and also on the 39th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. The priest also mentioned that today is a day of prayer and penance for abortion throughout the Church, as promulgated by the USCCB.

As I was praying today, I wondered how many other priests told their congregations about this (day of penance). While I'm sure that most priests are 100% pro-life (I would hope 100% of priests, but let's be real), most also see it as a controversial topic and don't preach about it from the pulpit. They are doing their congregations a great disservice. If we want people to be catholic and stand up for life, then they need to be praying for life as well and know what is happening in the world and in the church. So many people passively sit around, uninformed and uncaring. We have to start caring. We have to start acting. How long can our country go on like this?

Anyway, before I start to ramble (I have hit the afternoon slump), I have read some great articles that people posted on Facebook today, and here they are:

Why we March for Life

A Sexual Revolution (longer, but a must read)

And this was posted by Fr. Kyle on Facebook, the Director of Vocations for the Fort Worth Diocese:

"NewsFlash - The Parallel Jesus's Crucifixion And Pro Choice - Read this only with a prayerful heart. We should reflect and pray heavily today that over 50 million unborn children have been murdered in the past 39 years of legalized abortion even as the thought pains us to do so. (1) Jesus is betrayed by a kiss - How many women have been betrayed by the kiss of a man who later stole what is most sacred to all women, purity, by a series of emotional cons and spiritual rapes by saying "If you love me then you will do this"? (2) Jesus' friends run away - How many women find themselves alone and abandoned when they discover the crisis of their own pregnancy? (3) Jesus remains silent as he is tortured - How many women remain silent as they are mentally tortured by people that they have trusted and loved the most but are now encouraging them to seek an abortion? By the boyfriend, a parent, siblings, and best friends. (4) The mobs condemn Jesus - In our society the pro choice mob, the culture of death, pushes her to abort her child, giving her no other option. (5) Jesus' life is in the hands of Pontius Pilate - The unborn baby and the life of the their mother is in the hands of Abortionist Doctor. Pilate was sworn to uphold justice, Doctors are sworn to defend life at all costs, yet both practice unconscionable acts against God and their profession. (6) Jesus is sentenced to death - The mother trapped with no sense of any way of bringing their unborn child to birth as the pro choice mob and trusted friends has convinced her with demonic lies that "its the only way", "It's just a short procedure and then its over", or "your whole future will be destroyed". (7) Jesus is crowned with thorns - Now the thorns of the mother are torturous. She is being forced to go against her own soul, to take life rather than save it, this torture may last a life time. (8) Jesus carries the cross - Nobody can even imagine the cross that women bear as they enter the abortion clinic, all their joyful dreams seem so distant now. They may smile and even laugh to show external strength but deep inside their pain is unimaginable. (9) Jesus is nailed to the cross and crucified - A whole team of medical staff see to every detail to make it more comfortable...COMFORTABLE? !! Are you kidding me? What comfort could the soldiers possible give Jesus? He is being legally murdered!! Comfort to a mother? Her child is being legally murdered! Only Jesus' mother and a few women bring Him some comfort at the foot of the cross, and only a few men and women praying outside the abortion clinic can bring some spiritual assistance. (10) Jesus breathes his last - The child is killed by the Doctor, the mother is wounded severely in every way; physically, emotionally, spiritually. “A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentations, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more.” Matthew 2"18 (11) Jesus Resurrects !!! - WOMEN who have had an abortion CAN BE HEALED. The culture of death lied to them, but they don't have to remained stomped down by the pro-choice crowd or be betrayed anymore by their trusted friends who pressured them into an abortion. Rachel's Vineyard and other Pro-Life-Post-Abortive Healing is available. Jesus' is the Resurrection and the Life, and no one who comes to Him shall ever taste death again; in Him and with the help of the Pro-Life organizations their is true healing, love, mercy, grace, and even purity again. Yes, God never abandons His Love...for He has Loved us to death and His Kingdom shall have no end. Let us all labor with all our life to end legalized abortion in the U.S.A. so that the unborn and their mothers may pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, inalienable rights endowed by our Creator and established by the forefathers of our once great nation."

After the Storm...

2012-01-12T17:14:00.003-06:00

There has to be periods of calm and stress-free weekends after stressed out weeks, right!? And here it is, a weekend I am looking forward to; a weekend I will spend sleeping, laughing, cooking, and hanging out with friends!

Tomorrow night I am hosting a game night for some friends; I mostly want to play my new game Telestrations. I will also be cooking and baking up a storm tomorrow afternoon and I can't wait to eat what I make! Here's my menu for the game night; most recipes I found on Pinterest and have linked the recipe:

Lasagna Spinach Rolls
Pizza Dip
Garlic Bread
Veggies and Dip
Mini Apple Pies (from my recipe, baked in muffin tins)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dip
Funfetti Bake Batter Dip
(with cookies and crackers for dipping)

Ever since I signed up for Pinterest, I have definitely been wanting to cook more and more; I have found some great recipes on there!

Challenges and Stress

2012-01-10T16:35:00.003-06:00

When I wanted to be a youth minister my senior year of high school, I simply thought of how awesome it would be to share my faith with teens and (hopefully) bring them closer to God, just like my youth minister in high school did. I loved attending the Steubenville Youth Conferences and I had a great time every week of youth group.

When I had a seminar class on youth ministry in college and had a one semester internship, I was not made aware of major stresses that can come with the job. I did get to experience some of the behind-the-scenes work during my internship, but the seminar focused on theories and some best practices. I learned a few practical things, but it would have been nice to learn more.

When I started as full-time youth minister, I tried to continue what the last youth minister had going on. It wasn't until the big summer events and conferences when I started to get majorly stressed out. Sometimes people in charge forget that us newbies don't know exactly what we're doing in our first year(s)! I survived the summer, though, and actually had a lot of fun with the youth at the conferences and lock-ins.

Then came my second year, which didn't start off so well. There was conflict and tension and I had no idea why (turns out it was from a lack of communication and lack of asking the right people questions). Who would have thought that there could be conflict, tension, and drama while working for a church!? Especially when I'm one of the least dramatic people out there. It came, it went, it came back. The circle of life when you work with real people, I suppose.

My second year has also been a lot more demanding. People expect more. I learned how to turn down some things in life and have fewer meetings. Having free nights is one of the most amazing things in the world. I think every year, playing the balance game will change. Work, free/personal time, relationships, spiritual life, eating healthy, working out, errands, the list goes on! I have been very overwhelmed in the past 4-5 months and sometimes I don't even know what my purpose/goals are of being a youth minister. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing because it's not quite what I expected.

But I keep on. It has to be difficult before it can be easy. I have to learn from mistakes before I can teach others what I know. I have to grow in my ministry and be the youth minister I want to be, not the youth minister others want me to be. Yes, I have a job to do, but I also have my own strengths and weaknesses. Starting from (almost) scratch and building up your own youth ministry is a very challenging task, but I know it can be done. I also know I need to stop having a negative attitude about work! It needs to be positive, so that positivity will flow into all I do with my ministry. Lord help us all!

Change for a Dollar

2012-01-06T11:12:00.000-06:00

This is beautiful.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2011-12-07T16:36:00.001-06:00

I love December. I love the "Christmas season" - although, let's get this straight. It's Advent and Christmas starts on December 25th and goes until the Wise Men come in January. But to the rest of the world, it's the Christmas season right now. As a youth minister, it's my job to explain to others (especially the youth) what Advent really is and to tell them to focus on Advent and preparing themselves for the real meaning of Christmas. I don't think this means doing away with all the holiday festivities though.

Some people get so upset about how commercialized Christmas has become and how everyone has Christmas decorations up already. Calm down people. I happen to like it, and I'm going to attempt to explain why!

While it is annoying that stores begin putting out Christmas stuff right after Halloween and all throughout November, once it's the Friday after Thanksgiving, I say go all out! Turn up that Christmas music, get those lights out on the house, deck the halls and trim the tree. Christmas is about celebrating the birth of Jesus. God came into our world, incarnate, 2,000 years ago, it is certainly a time to celebrate! Even though he wasn't actually born on December 25th, today we consider it his birthday. And what do we do for birthdays? We decorate, we buy gifts, we go all out for the ones we love. Whose to say God doesn't love all the decorations we put up!? Some even put manger scenes up in the yards (go you!). This time of year is also about the "Spirit of Christmas." My mom is huge on that. And the Church, herself, offers so many wonderful opportunities to celebrate this "spirit," such as St. Nicholas day, the Immaculate Conception, 4 weeks of Advent, our Lady of Guadalupe, and many more. It is definitely a stressful time, but it's also a joyful time. It's a month to really cherish time with family and friends and the many traditions you have or are creating. It's a month to remind you of childhood excitement and wonder and awe. It's a month to admire the beauty of what is around us (lights, decorations, love). It really is the most wonderful time of the year.

What Happened to Downtime?

2011-10-26T17:02:00.001-05:00

Today I came across an article that discusses our lack of downtime, sacred space, and deep thinking. Or as the author puts it: What happened to downtime? The extinction of deep thinking & sacred space. Maybe this is why my brain thinks about work when I'm at home, sleeping, and in the shower. I don't have a lot of processing time at work because I'm always connected and distracted with my computer. I guess this means I need to make the time myself, I need to shut down my e-mail and web browser for 15 min and work up to an hour. Baby steps.

Thursday Quotes

2011-10-20T15:26:00.001-05:00

Last night at Adoration I began reading the newest book by Fr. Larry Richards, "Surrender!" I've seen him speak at conferences several times and he's always been inspiring, so when I heard he was coming out with a new book, I jumped at the opportunity to purchase it. I'm not even through the first chapter yet, but several quotes jumped out at me last night and I thought I'd share them:

When we fall, God is still pleased with us for wanting to do His will (p14)

Holiness is who we are - not what we do (p15)
We are holy...because God dwells in us, not because we are good people

Sanctity or holiness is a by-product of love. It is not an end in itself (p19)

You can be holy and still be real (p20)

When I put the book down and began chatting with God, one of the first prayers that came to my mind was to ask for holiness for R and I. And then I was like, whoa, wait, Fr. Larry just said that we're already holy! So I changed the prayer to ask that we grow in our holiness. :)

I'm excited to finish this book. Fr. Larry presents the journey of faith as something very real and he gives tangible examples of how to grow in holiness (at least at the talks I've been to this has been the case). If you'd like to learn a bit more about Fr. Larry and his foundation, A Reason For Our Hope, check out their website:
http://www.thereasonforourhope.org/

Things to Check Out

2011-10-05T16:05:00.000-05:00

Alright, two things that have caught my eye that others have posted. The first is an article off of CNN how men are "in trouble." Basically, no one is teaching boys/guys/men how to be true men. Well, that's my opinion, anyway.

The second is a video of a college band performing Party Rock Anthem. And they actually shuffle! Enjoy.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/04/opinion/bennett-men-in-trouble/index.html

Blessings and Coffee

2011-09-29T10:43:00.001-05:00

Happy National Coffee Day! And happy Feast of the Archangels!

This past month has flown by and I cannot believe that October will be here on Saturday! I've got a few speculations as to why this month seemed to disappear, and it wasn't because I've been terribly busy with meetings galore during the week. We moved all high school formation sessions to Sunday night, which has freed up Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights for me. That has been a major blessing!

At work, I've also been blessed with an amazing supervisor. I know that I have his full support and it's also nice to have some actual guidance in my job. He's kick-started the process of putting together a three-year plan for youth ministry. So blessed to be able to work with him.

On the mornings I stop at Starbucks I'm blessed with a sweet smile from the baristas, as well as delicious coffee. It's a nice way to start the work day.

This past month I have celebrated many things with many friends, such as birthdays, baby showers, our parish young adult ministry, running a 5K, our youth softball team winning 2nd place. Those days and moments were filled with much joy and laughter, as we blessed each other with fellowship and smiles, and as we were all blessed in the gift of friendship.

As we approach the month of October, I get more excited to celebrate all the beautiful feast days our Catholic Church gives us! We are so blessed to be a part of a church that is steeped in traditions and the holy examples of the saints who went before us. Two of my favorites: Therese of Lisieux (Oct 1) and Teresa of Avila (Oct 15). Their stories of love and faith are so inspiring, what blessings!

And perhaps the biggest blessing this month has been the start of a new relationship. Last month I was not expecting to meet anyone; funny how God works sometimes. :) Just being with him melts my stress away. And somehow this relationship is helping me in my relationship with God. Blessing after blessing after blessing. :)

Sanctifying the Day

2011-08-21T11:05:00.000-05:00

I love starting the day with morning prayer from Liturgy of the Hours. It used to be such a great habit in college, but I also had friends I prayed with, so we kept each other accountable. And I'll never forget the way-too-early morning prayer during Echo summers, trying to hit the high notes of "Morning has Broken" at 7am. Now I'm trying to get back into the habit. What better way to pray than to use the Universal prayer of the Church!? And turns out that it's much easier to pray in the morning than before bed... those prayers are usually a quick sentence or two thanking God for the day. But with morning prayer, I know I'm sanctifying the whole day and giving it all to God.

I've used morning and night prayer with my youth group; once after a lock-in and once during a youth group session. It seemed to go over fairly well. I think I'll use night prayer a few more times this year for our Sunday evening gatherings. Someone's gotta teach those kids how to pray. :-P

Harry Potter and No Greater Love

2011-07-16T15:22:00.000-05:00

I went to see the final Harry Potter movie last night and it was fantastic. It's been a few years since I read the last book in the series, so I forgot about some of the story elements and how it really is all about love (what Dumbledore stresses to Harry so many times). In the Chronicles of Narnia it's a given that Azlan is a Christ-like figure. In Harry Potter, it doesn't come out until the final book/movies, but his character is also Christ-like!

Throughout the series people died for Harry Potter, and he is known as "The boy who lived." Or perhaps we could even say the chosen or anointed one? The only person he truly fought was Lord Voldemort, or the Evil one. At the end of the book/movie, when Draco and company are about to die in a raging fire, Harry insists on saving them. He knew how to love his enemies. And in the end, with fear pumping through his body, he went to face Lord Voldemort and death. He accepted death, not knowing it wasn't the final death for him.

In his brief time "between worlds" he had a conversation with Dumbledore, and a quite from that really struck me. "Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love." Harry knew love. Throughout the series he was constantly reminded about the love his parents had for him. He was also loved dearly by friends. His love was greater than his circle of safety and comfort though. It extended to those he might not of cared for at first. Ultimately, Harry defeated death and Lord Voldemort with that great love.

Last night as all of this, and more, was going through my mind, my heart hurt for the world. There is a such a lack of love, and yet a deep and unquenchable desire to be loved. All we want, as humans, is to be loved and know that someone cares about us. People seek attention, just look at Facebook! And I know I'm guilty of wanting some social media love as well. We can learn a lot from Harry Potter. Although he is a fictional character and a mere teenager, he lived his life with passion and a purpose. He had courage like none other and he let his love shine through.

This Henri Nouwen quote sums up a lot of the correlations I barely made:

Jesus is given to the world. He was chosen, blessed, and broken to be given. Jesus' life and death were a life and death for others. The Beloved Son of God, chosen from all eternity, was broken on the cross so that this one life could multiply and become food for people of all places and all times.

As God's beloved children we have to believe that our little lives, when lived as God's chosen and blessed children, are broken to be given to others. We too have to become bread for the world. When we live our brokenness under the blessing, our lives will continue to bear fruit from generation to generation. That is the story of the saints - they died, but they continue to be alive in the hearts of those who live after them - and it can be our story too.

Death and Ministry

2011-05-11T19:29:00.000-05:00

In the past three weeks I have attended three funerals, all of people I did not know. I couldn't help but think that if I was not working in a church, I would not have been at the funerals. The first was a mother of a youth minister from a parish close by, the second was the father of a woman on staff at my parish. I went to give my support and condolences. No matter whose funeral it is, it's always sad. Yes, we're called to rejoice and celebrate their life, but it's difficult when family and friends are grieving that they'll never be able to see their loved one again on earth.

Today's funeral was much different than the other two. Today's funeral was for a 16 year-old boy who's three-year fight with cancer ended last Friday. He attended the parish school and the Catholic high school, so many, many youth were present. The church was packed, as expected, and the torrential afternoon rain probably kept many others at home. Our pastor gave a fantastic homily, making it personal but also explaining the Scriptures chosen. He shared a story about visiting with him, in private, one week before his death. He asked the teen if he had any questions about anything, and he said no, that he was okay. This boy had complete faith in God, that everyone was ok. He was more concerned about his family and friends than his close approach to death. What strength that would take.

The closing song was "How Great Thou Art" and I had to choke back tears as I watched the family leaving, all wiping their own eyes. As I was leaving to head over to the gym for the reception that followed, I saw all these young people with tears in their eyes and I thought "I can't do this." Once I reached the gym I stood against the wall next to a school faculty member. Many people greeted him, for they knew him from when they went to the elementary school. I did not know many of the youth there, maybe 10. I didn't know what to do, I froze. I could have mingled, but even then, what was I to say to people I didn't know? And I thought maybe it was best that they could all be with each other, supporting each other. I didn't even know the boy who died...

I hope that next time (not that I ever want there to be a next time for a teen's death), I'll be better prepared about what to do and say. This is a learning job and we can't be prepared for everything, but we can be better prepared for the future.

The Mighty Macs

2011-05-09T13:54:00.001-05:00

I came across this today and the movie looks good! Check out the trailer below and the website:
http://www.themightymacs.com/

Roses, Roses Everywhere

2011-05-09T13:52:00.000-05:00

It has been a tradition at our parish, as well as many others I'm sure, to sell roses on Mother's Day as a fundraiser. I haven't done many fundraisers yet, but overall I'd say it was successful. Unfortunately I have 4 dozen roses left over, which I suppose I'll bring into our Pastoral Center (offices). At first I was a little disappointed; I was hoping to raise about $500 ($700 including the cost of roses), but we brought in just under $400. When the day was done and I was turning the money in, I realized that it was a learning experience and that I needed to be happy with what we did. It could have been a lot worse! I had at least 2 youth at every table for every Mass on Sunday, which was awesome! The money we raised will help students (and their parents) pay for upcoming trips, such as Steubenville, DCYC (Diocesan Catholic Youth Conference), and NCYC (National Catholic Youth Conference).

It was a warm and exhausting day, but well worth it. I think we'll do a bake sale on Father's Day weekend to rake in some more money. One girl suggested popcorn balls decorated like baseballs. I'm in.

We are an Easter People

2011-05-04T16:05:00.000-05:00

Sometime in college I actually started to listen to the priest's homilies at my home parish in Wisconsin. It was an Easter homily that I actually liked and realized that his homilies weren't all that bad, they were just difficult to listen to because he was slightly monotoned! He started it with "We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song." He then went into what "Alleluia" means and I thought it was a great homily and really liked the quote. Well, this Easter season I saw some others quoting that on Facebook and just found out today that Bl. John Paul II was the one who said it first! Funny how it took 3-4 years to realize it wasn't his own original quote, but one by our beloved and late Pope!

Too Early to Think

2011-04-20T14:11:00.000-05:00

This morning I was woken up by my brain thinking about youth ministry things an hour before my alarm was to start playing music! And my brain wouldn't turn off, it kept thinking about more things, mostly about the upcoming rose sale I'll be doing Mother's Day weekend. Praise the Lord I have a 5-day weekend coming up! This brain obviously needs a rest! But... do we ever get a rest from thinking about youth ministry!?

First Sunday of Lent - Gospel Reflection

2011-03-11T01:49:00.000-06:00

This morning I was running just a tad late. I thought I was doing great on time with getting ready for the day, until I had to get my lunch together and only 15 minutes before I was supposed to be at a Department Heads meeting. As I was scurrying out the door with ten minutes to make it to work (the usual amount of travel time it takes to get there) I said a quick prayer, "God, please don't let there be any stupid drivers on the road today."

By the time I parked, dropped my stuff of in my office, and headed over to the meeting I was a few minutes late. Thankfully everyone was still chatting. It is a custom to begin all of our meetings by reading the upcoming Sunday Gospel and reflecting on it using a lectio devina style (what word or phrase stick outs to you, what does that word or phrase mean to you, and what comforts or challenges you about the word or phrase).

This upcoming Gospel passage is the temptation of Jesus found in Matthew. The phrase that stuck out to me was: You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test. It was then that I realized that with my little prayer this morning I was testing God; instead of making sure I woke up early enough to get ready and make my lunch, I threw my lack of preparation onto God, expecting Him to magically remove the bad drivers from the road. How often do we test God in our daily lives without even realizing it?

Giving Things Up for Lent

2011-03-08T22:37:00.000-06:00

I find it so interesting that so many people give up sweets and/or chocolate for Lent. Or soda, another popular one. There are some legit reasons for doing so, but others may give it up just because it seems like the "norm" or maybe it's the easiest hardest thing to do. For me, I'd rather do things that matter (although I'm not saying that giving up sweets doesn't matter to some!), that affect my spiritual life. It's the night before Ash Wednesday and I'm not 100% positive about what I'll be doing for the next 40(+) days, but I'll figure it out tonight/tomorrow.

I think our Church used to focus so much on giving things up for Lent that it becomes the norm - "what are you giving up for Lent?" is quite a popular question today. But why not "what extra things are you doing for Lent?" Adding more things will affect your spiritual life more than simply giving up some form of food or beverage. I like the idea of giving up the snooze button, as long as it means they're getting up earlier and using that time to pray. That might be a possible "Lenten resolution" for myself. I've also thought about focusing more at work, whether it's cleaning my office or reading an article or book on youth ministry. I've also thought about praying the rosary more, since I've neglected that form of prayer in the past year. I need to pray and discern about what I'll be doing so this Lent will be the best Lent yet.

Stages of Change

2011-01-25T16:05:00.000-06:00

The other night during Adoration I was thinking about how we, as humans, go through phases and change throughout our lives. But as I continued to reflect further, I wondered if we really change or do we simply continue to grow into the person God created us to be. But growing could be change... as we physically grow older, our bodies change, but is that the change that happens in our minds and hearts? I'm only 25, so I've experienced some "change" and growth, but not as much as a person who is, say, 50, or even 70 years old. The following are what I would say are key moments in formative change in one's life:

Starting high school and then Junior year (when one begins to seriously consider college and look to the future).
College - Freshman year and Senior year
6 months out of college (either that's after a bachelor degree or master's degree) and learning how to be an adult (and paying student loans...)
Engagement and Marriage - making that leap into a commitment you'll have for the rest of your life
Children

I know there can be a lot more and it depends on how people approach life and the events they go through, but those are my top 5. I've only gone through the first three and I know there was a lot of growth and development of my personhood in those years. I also believe that the most difficult transition comes from school (college) to adulthood. Sometimes I think back on my college experience and remember how great my prayer life was and I wish it could be like that now, but I also have to remember that I'm at a different place in my life and it can't be the same! So now I have to figure all that out and what does work best for me?

Ok, ramble time is up... back to work! Hopefully the mice won't come out to play until after I'm gone...

1.11.11

2011-01-11T22:33:00.000-06:00

Today is a pretty cool day...1/11/11. So many ones! The day started with 8th grade bible study where we finished watching the movie "The Star of Bethlehem." It's pretty cool how an ordinary guy took it upon himself to investigate the star present at the birth of Jesus, but I don't think all his theology is correct. If his findings were 100% correct, why hasn't any church come out and supported him and his research? One thing that stuck out to me was that he said the wise men were probably Jewish, since they had knowledge of Scripture. In my Ignatius Study Bible it said the Magi were Gentiles, which makes sense, since they were from Persia. He also calculated everything and shows that the Magi would have appeared on December 25th, bringing their gifts. Is that what really went down? I'm just a little skeptical, but hello American culture! I think the website is bethlehemstar.net

So then I went to the diocesan youth ministry network; youth minsters from the diocese gather once a month or lunch and are then told about events going on and the like. It's a lot better after attending NCCYM in New Orleans; before I went to the conference and got to hang out more with the yms of the diocese, going to the lunch networks were actually pretty awkward. I was the new person and didn't quite know what to do! But now I feel better about seeing everyone. I'm super excited for NCYC taking place this coming November. It seems like that is right around the corner! But first things first: summer. I'll be taking a group to Steubenville South, which I'm also pumped for and I'm hoping to take a minimum of five teens. We shall see!

Enough with the random post... adios for now!

The Ultimate Couple

2011-01-06T22:54:00.000-06:00

At Mass this past Sunday I started to think about my grandparents and miss them. It seemed sort of random, I'm not sure what brought it on, but probably the holiday season. My grandpa passed away in February 2009 and my grandma passed away six months later in August 2009. Later that day I wrote a little something about them, thinking about the stories my dad shared with me. It's not perfect, but here it is:

The Ultimate Couple

I didn't even know them that well, but I now know that they were the ultimate couple. Every year brings new stories about my grandparents, especially after their deaths. Some are sad and others are joyful. I know their love ran deep for their grandchildren, but they didn't often express it. My brother and I were their "candy testers," a job we certainly enjoyed (and which probably later led to my brother not liking sweets). We probably spent the night a few times, but only one time do I have memories from; we watched a show on miracles, especially those dealing with Mary. The TV was often on some show or another. My family stopped by after church on Sundays, but when my parents got divorced, my trips were less frequent. My more vivid memories are when they were both ill, especially my grandpa. Every time I saw him he would say that might be the last time. The Christmas before he died was probably the hardest. We all knew he wouldn't be around for very long but put on smiles nonetheless. When I got in my dad's car that night I cried. Saying goodbye is hard, especially when you don't know when you'll say goodbye for the final time.

Till the end, until my grandma's death six months after my grandpa's, their love for each other and their bonds remained strong. They took care of each other, even if it meant only offering a friendly conversation or a loving glance. They were each other's lives, which explains the short period of time between the deaths; my grandma just couldn't live without the love of her life. My dad tells stories about how they'd fight and argue and he was always afraid they would get a divorce, but later on they always made up and went about life as usual. They also talked every morning; my dad says that was one of his favorite things about them. Before they got up for the day they talked. Even into their old ages they always had things to talk about. I wish I had known them better, that we would have had a better relationship. I wrote them cards, but never called. I was scared for some reason. Maybe it was my way of protecting my heart from pain after death, but somehow I think it might be worse.

Life Got in the Way

2010-12-03T09:56:00.000-06:00

For a long time I've thought about blogging, I've come up with different ideas of what to blog on, but then I kept working, or when not at work, relaxing, because who wants to work when they're home!? Anyway, I'm still here with hopes to do more... eventually!

In the meantime, here's a great little video for the season:

God Moment

2010-10-23T23:21:00.000-05:00

Recently I've fallen into this great habit of reading a chapter from the Bible while I eat my cereal in the morning. The first day I thought this would be a good idea is when my (new) Saint Mary's Press Family Connection Bible was on my dining table. I decided to flip it open and then I became giddy and started to laugh because I turned directly to my favorite Scripture passage, the one this blog is named after: Romans 12:9-12. Seriously, what are the odds of that happening!? Thank you, Holy Spirit! It still makes me smile thinking about it. Since then I've been reading a chapter from Paul's great letter to the Romans. I can't name precisely why I'm more interested in reading the Bible now, but I can say I'm glad this spark was started in me.

Trust Issues

2010-10-23T23:14:00.001-05:00

Who doesn't have them!? I was thinking and praying about trust a lot during Adoration last Sunday. It probably all started from reading the Intro to With Open Hands, a Nouwen classic. The reflection was focused on what we are holding on to, such as our fears, and I began to reflect on my Echo experience. I had to put a lot of trust into God... was this the right thing? Trusting God had a plan for me in Texas, the last place I wanted to be. That got me thinking about real trust. I think we can often say we are trusting in God's plan for our lives, but how often are those just words? I don't know the answer to that, but I'd like to think that I had genuine trust. I was happy (for the most part) in Texas and I let my gifts be used. Well, that got me thinking about Echo summers and how Echo 5, especially Cafe Disco, brought out the best in me. I believe that is testimony enough that I did let go of my fears and started trusting God's plan.

One of the things I fear the most is my future and having no idea where it's headed. Included in that is the relationship I'm in. We've talked about the future, about marriage, but he isn't always sure about it, so sometimes I get worried and stress over it. But as soon as I realized that and knew that I had to let it go and trust that whatever does happen with this relationship is the will of God, I felt this great peace sweep over me. I certainly have my plans and what I want (again, who doesn't!?), but part of my plan needs to be trusting in God's plan, whether they coincide or not. I believe we are given certain desires for a reason. Why did I want to become a youth minister? Because I was given the gift of working with youth, and now here I am, employed full-time at a parish!

Sometimes you just know... you know it's love and it's meant to last, you know what you want to do and be, you know the decisions you need to make and those you don't. I like to call those "God things" or "God moments" because you know it's all a part of His divine plan and you're happy where you are, genuinely happy and you feel at peace. Praise God for those reassuring times!

Eat, Pray, Love

2010-09-28T17:42:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, when my dad was in town visiting me, we went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love. I hadn't read the book and my dad was part of the way through it, but we both wanted to see the movie. Despite what the US Bishops said about the movie, I liked it. They're discouraging people from seeing it because of the acceptance of divorce and the nonmarital and premarital relations that happen throughout the story line. Apart from those details, it was great! It gave a little insight into three completely different countries: Italy, India, and Indonesia. Each experience in the distinct countries corresponds to her title; she ate in Italy, prayed in India, and fell in love in Indonesia. The bishops also criticize the movie for it's lack of, or perhaps complete disregard for Christianity and "ignoring [it] as a source of insight." In the book Liz Gilbert does write on Christianity. The purpose of her year-long excursions to these exotic places was a self-indulgent, self-seeking "pampered pilgrimage."

While the movie doesn't follow the book perfectly, you get a general feel for the book and the adventures that Liz Gilbert experienced. After seeing the movie I zipped over to Amazon.com and bought the book. I cannot say that I agree with a lot of the decisions Gilbert made and how she went about things, but I can say that there are some valuable lessons to be learned from her travels and own insights. As I continue to travel along with Liz in her written account I plan on writing my own observations. I like to call it: Catholicizing Eat, Pray, Love.

First Middle School Event

2010-09-26T11:13:00.001-05:00

Last night I held my first middle school event called Saturday Night Live (SNL). They were very popular last year and for my first one I had no clue how many to expect. I had some games in mind and I thought it would be fun to make our own pizzas (using English muffins or the thin sandwich buns). Well, the kids kept coming and I think I had a total of about 35. I guess I was expecting, perhaps even hoping, for 20-30 to show, but once their bodies are physically present, 35 seems a lot larger than it did in my head. I was so overwhelmed and I really had no idea what to do; they had so much energy. Plus they're really bad at listening. Extremely bad.

I learned a few lessons: order pizza instead of making your own... that takes too long to do! Reserve the gym... they can be more wild and crazy there. Have more ideas for middle school games: during the night I realized that some games I had planned out were not going to work with the middle school bunch. Over prepare.

Middle school ministry is not one of my strengths and if it was up to me, I wouldn't want to do another middle school event... but it's part of my job. Before my next event I'll be sitting down with the DRE to talk about planning middle school events and how we can un-do what happened last year (where they only played games and had no faith or prayer elements). We at least prayed at the end of the event last night. :)

In 5 years?

2010-09-21T12:13:00.000-05:00

What do I want to be doing in five years? Yikes, I don't even know what I'll be doing next year! I assume I'll still be working at St. Andrew with youth ministry, and maybe I'll be doing that in five years as well, but who knows! I've been asked that question twice in the past few months. I have hopes and dreams of what I want to do, but right now I'm simply trying to focus on my immediate job. It takes some time getting used to and settling into a new position, but I'm sure in a year from now I'll have things running smoothly. And maybe then I can put a little more focus on things I'd like to be doing in five years. What is it that I'd like to do? I would like to write more, not only for my blog, but also a book. I think that would be really awesome; I even have a friend who would edit it for me! I'd also like to have some speaking engagements - whether it's for a local parish or conference, or maybe someday a larger conference in a different state. What do I want to write about and speak on? Good question. I've always had an interest in speaking on and sharing the importance of chastity and purity, but maybe my interests will change as I continue to work in youth ministry. Lord, let it be done to me according to your word. God's got His plan and I have my hopes... maybe they'll coincide with each other. :)

Youth Ministry Obstacles

2010-09-13T15:57:00.000-05:00

At times it seems like parents are the biggest obstacles to youth ministry when they should be its advocates! Not all parents are challenging and some understand what Comprehensive Youth Ministry means; I do not want to downplay the help they have already provided.

Last night was the first night of our "youth group" or "youth night." Ours may be a little different from other parishes because it also counts for religious education classes. It's open to all high school students and yes, there is a catechesis component to it. A mom came in to bring her daughter and to introduce herself, since she has been an important part of our middle school ministry in the past. When she heard that it also counted as religious education she was about ready to take her daughter home since she goes to the Catholic high school and gets her religious ed from there. And she somehow thinks that is enough. I suppose she assumed that my youth night would always be a social night... but I am not holding a strictly social night every Sunday! What about faith? What about learning? Where does true fellowship and community come from? It looks like my challenge will be to teach parents what Comprehensive Youth Ministry means; it's not all about the fun and games, there are eight components that need to be incorporated into youth ministry. This could either be a rough year or a very fruitful year. I choose fruitful.

Why God Matters - Book Review

2010-09-08T09:03:00.003-05:00

Why God Matters is a great little gem to have in your spiritual reading collection. It contains short stories and reflections on faith by a daughter and father, one a cradle Catholic, the other a convert. It has a simplistic beauty to it; the chapters are short, which makes it easy to put down and pick up on your own time. Each chapter is a great personal witness of their own faith, but what I like the most are the little extras after the stories. Each chapter contains a Life Lesson, a short Scripture passage, and a quote from the Catechism. The Life Lessons help the reader to reflect on their own faith life and can be a great guide for prayer, while the Scripture and CCC quotes tie everything together. This isn't just another book on faith and it doesn't tell you why God should matter in your life. I see it more as a witness to God's love and a tool for the reader to examine their faith and help them grow as witnesses of Christ.

Check out chapter two here:
http://tribute-books.com/whygodmatters/share_your_story.html

And while you're at it, check out the book's website:
http://www.whygodmatters.com

Curb Check

2010-09-02T16:54:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I unfortunately hit a curb. I blew my tire and caused some damage to my car. I've had a frustrating and difficult week trying to get my car serviced with many trips back and forth from the dealership (which is about a 45 minute drive). August was a pretty rough month for me, it seemed like everything was going wrong, and this curb check was the icing on the cake. I've only had my car a month and now this happens!?

Yesterday I got a loner car from the dealership (a 2010 Altima which I fell in love with) and as I was driving it back to Fort Worth in the pouring rain I thought I'd reflect on this whole experience. I asked myself what lesson I could learn from all of this and then I started laughing. The first thing that came to my mind was "wake-up call." I think it was a wake-up call from God; just how I wasn't paying careful attention to driving, I haven't been paying close attention to God and His workings in my life. Yesterday I was given a ride by a Nissan courtesy driver and we had a nice chat about faith and prayer. One of the things that sticks out to me from that conversation is "we know who our Lord is, Jesus Christ, and he will always take care of us, but we've got to put our trust in him, too."

September is going to be a much better month: I'm going to put my trust in Jesus and work on my routine for prayer.

You Get What You Pay For

2010-07-20T09:43:00.000-05:00

I wish that statement wasn't always true... as a person who tries to save money here and there I'd like a break once in awhile! This past week I have learned that sometimes it's better to dish out more money, especially with haircuts and hotels.

I spent last night at an Extended Stay in Little Rock, AR. Through Expedia I only paid $40 for it, which I thought was pretty awesome... until I got here. My non-smoking room smelled like smoke had still seeped in somewhere, I was a little worried my car might get broken into, and the bed was terrible. The dorm beds at Notre Dame will probably be more comfortable than the bed I slept in last night. Live and learn, right?

Yesterday I drove 5 1/2 hours, today will add at least another hour of driving as I make my way to St. Louis. The drive through Arkansas is beautiful and quite peaceful. I think it's similar for Missouri too, but I'll find out soon enough! First things first: a stop at Target to pick up socks (if I actually find the time to take walks around the lake) and a highlighter to continue my studying. :)

Living in Crazy Town...

2010-07-11T13:52:00.000-05:00

...and I don't mean Nashville! If you listen to country music you'll get the reference...

But seriously, things have been quite stressful, very hectic, and sometimes I have to stop to catch my breath. I just got back from DCYC (Diocesan Catholic Youth Conference - Fort Worth), a weekend event of 1600 youth, and now it's time to unpack my apartment! Hopefully this week will be less stressful and I'll have more time for studying. I can't believe how busy work has been - I thought I'd have time to study during the day, but that just hasn't happened. I'm also working on another blog which I'll probably put a bit more effort into, since it's for work. I thought it would be really cool to create a blog for my parish youth ministry. Right now there is only one welcome post, but I'll be blogging about DCYC, putting up pictures and maybe video (if it turned out), and as time progresses, other youth news or things pertaining to youth ministry. The purpose is for the youth and their parents (and parishioners, if interested), to check out the website to keep updated on events and what their kids actually do at these events. :) I'm really excited about it. Like I said, it's in the works, but if you want to check it out just go to www.standrewym.blogspot.com.

Ok, that's all for now, time to unpack and settle into my apartment. It's not very fun living out of boxes...

Summer in Texas

2010-06-18T01:24:00.000-05:00

I cannot wait to escape from the Texas heat when I take my trip up to Wisconsin. Down here it's almost 100 degrees, but up north it will be in the 80s the whole week I'll be there. So excited! Down here you have to simply deal with the heat; you learn how to touch your hot steering wheel and what clothes not to wear. You just put up with it because it's the only thing you can do, unless you want to live your entire summer indoors. Tonight, despite the heat, a small group of friends and I went to "Stars under the Stars," they play a movie on a jumbo-tron in one of the parking lots downtown. It was a lot of fun - you bring your own chair or blanket (but who really wants to sit on the hot asphalt?) and they have some concessions there. Tonight they showed "Blindside." I saw the movie once with Jeremy and it was still good the second time and still made me tear up at different points of the movie. And again, I still didn't understand the reference to Lawerence whoever... I guess something about protecting the quarterback's blind side? Anyone know?

A Real Job!

2010-06-17T00:25:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday I accepted the position of Youth and Young Adult Ministries Coordinator at the parish where I have been apprenticing for the past two years. 24 people applied, 5 people were interviewed, and one person was chosen. I feel very blessed and I am very grateful for this opportunity to serve this parish in a greater way. It will be difficult because it will be like starting from scratch. I just hope that I can be seen as my own person and not as the past youth minister. I also hope that I can work effectively at putting my vision and goals into place at the parish.

I officially begin July 1 and I'm thinking of giving this blog a new twist... I think I might focus it on church work and parish ministry - the day to day stuff that happens at the office, random things people say, my struggles and joys of being a youth minister. We'll see how that goes.

Right now I have a ton on my plate. On Sunday I'll be flying home to Wisconsin to spend a week there hanging out with my family and packing up things from my original home. I'll be attending two weddings and hanging out with Echo people at one of them (yay!), and then road tripping down with Jeremy to officially move myself from the Dairy State to the Lonestar State. I have an apartment all lined up, which I am super excited about. It has everything I want in an apartment and it's at a great location. On top of all that moving and starting a new job, I also have to continue to study for my comprehensive exam. Who am I kidding... I have to start studying! I hope a month will be enough time to go over the material... Prayers for that please!

Fireproof

2010-06-03T22:36:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how things work in media production and how people can stretch things out. Don't get me wrong, I love the concept of the movie/book Fireproof and The Love Dare, but at times it seems like people are in it for profit. I'm not exactly sure what came first, if it was The Love Dare or the movie Fireproof (let's say the movie). It was a decent movie - the acting wasn't award-winning, but the storyline was. In the movie The Love Dare was introduced and that is what kept a broken marriage from dissolving completely. Viewers were then intrigued and wanted to know more about The Love Dare, so [they] wrote some more books. There is The Love Dare, similar to the journal in the movie, in two forms: hardcover or a leather journal (again, like the movie). There is also The Love Dare for couples, a year-long devotional. There are several more resources on how to "fireproof your marriage." So there is a movie, several books on The Love Dare, small group study guides, and then someone wrote the book Fireproof, which is how I first came in contact with it.

It seems strange that a book was written after a movie, but someone decided they wanted to expand the story. I enjoyed reading the book more than watching the movie; it allowed time for the characters and plot to develop and I was more emotionally involved. I was actually mad at the husband in the beginning because I thought he was such a jerk! He redeems himself by using The Love Dare and the book had me crying at the end. It's a great book about faith as well. Caleb (the husband) asks his dad "how can I love someone who constantly rejects me over and over again?" while his dad is standing by a life-size cross. This is a story about love, not only the love between a husband and wife, but the love that God gives us freely and graciously and He never gives up hope.

Quickies

2010-05-27T13:38:00.000-05:00

Things taking up space in my mind:

Just read Fireproof and it's awesome, I'm looking forward to watching the movie (hopefully this weekend).

This is my last day in the office as an apprentice... I really need to hurry up and pack.

I really hope I get the job... I don't know why I wouldn't, but it isn't official just yet.

I'm looking forward to girls night tonight - our last meal together (potentially) until Angie takes off and it's just Paola and I in the house.

There is a lot to read for studying for comps.

I wish I had more time to read other things!

I'm looking forward to moving all my stuff down to Texas in one month and being able to scrapbook again.

I haven't been writing poetry lately and I'm not ok with that.

I think I'm going to listen to some Francesca Battistelli, I really enjoy her stuff.

Allergies

2010-05-24T12:23:00.000-05:00

Ugh, do I really want to live in Texas!? (Yes, yes I do). But these allergies are killing me. At least, that's what I'm assuming this is. It's all in my nose and yesterday I had never been so plugged up and congested in my life! Around 8:30pm I couldn't take it anymore and made a trip to CVS to stock up on Claretin, Afrin, and Kleenex. It's hard to want to do anything and I've definitely been tired. Hopefully I'll be up for a little elliptical workout later on today. This stuffed up nose even makes prayer difficult; last night I decided I was not going to go to Adoration because I knew I'd be miserable trying to breathe and having my nose constantly dripping. Plus it's hard to concentrate with my head stuffed up. I hope to get in a meditation on ch 2 (and 3?) of Hebrews later tonight.

Oh Texas, why do you have to give everyone allergies, even when we've never had them before?

< Two Weeks

2010-05-18T15:04:00.000-05:00

I have less than two weeks as an apprentice in the Echo program. My last day at the parish is May 27th and a few days after that one of my roommates will be moving out, which means the end of our community. These two years have come and gone very quickly and in the midst of it all there have been many ups and downs. I have been challenged and strengthened, experienced loneliness and the blessings of friendship, worked hard on projects and slacked off at my desk. I have stared out the same window for two years, watching the tree change with the seasons and the sky darken and brighten with the sun. I would love to capture and bottle up my experience in Echo, but no bottle is big enough! I have struggled with faith, I have lived the faith, and through it all I love the faith. Only myself and the others in Echo 5 will ever know the full effect of our experience, for it can't be explained. The lived experience of our close-knit community will always be treasured in my heart.

Speaking of it being the end... I still have study guides to work on! :)

The Practice of the Presence of God

2010-05-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

I'll admit that my prayer life hasn't been the absolute best these past couple months. I've had some great prayer experiences here and there and I truly appreciate my time in Adoration every Sunday night, but the day to day prayer... well... it's more quick prayers then taking the time to simply sit and be in God's presence. When I met with my spiritual director earlier this week he suggested that I practice simply being in the presence of God, wherever I am. It's difficult to do but I have found myself reminding myself about God's presence here and now. Brother Lawrence wrote a book titled "The Practice of the Presence of God" and you can find it online, for free, here. I don't know if it is the full book, but it's about 20 pages when you print it out. I haven't read it yet but hopefully tonight I'll get to some of it. Sometimes one of the most difficult times to recognize God's presence is when we are supposed to see Christ in others, even if and when they are annoying. How easy it is to forget that Christ dwells in each and every one of us.

Fear, Trust, Love

2010-05-04T15:37:00.000-05:00

With the end of my time as an apprentice approaching rapdily there have been many things on my mind, specifically regarding the future... my future. It's scary to look ahead, even to the next 6 months - especially when I do not have a job lined up. Of course, many people in my program do not have jobs lined up just yet, but I only have one in mind, and that is to stay at the parish I am at (and do youth ministry). Sometimes I feel frustrated at the process and other times I feel excited and at peace.

This morning while I was driving to work I heard the song "How He Loves Us" by the David Crowder Band. I've heard the song before and I love it. It reminds me to sometimes just be still and let God's love and mercy move me the way it will. To simply be in God's presence, remembering how much He does love me. Here's a video with lyrics to the song (although they're not 100% accurate, but pretty darn close).

"We're not meeting next week?"

2010-04-29T15:56:00.000-05:00

This question was posed last night by one or two of the students in the High School religious ed class. I was slightly shocked! Last night was our last class and some of the students expressed interest in wanting to come back next week! Instead of coming back to an empty room I suggested that they come hang out at our youth gathering on Sunday nights. They had no interest in coming during the year when I talked about it, but maybe things are different now. Sometimes they really do need that personal invite and how quickly I forget that. Don't we all need that personal invite? It's how things get started!

In high school my best friend went to a "Steubenville Conference" during the summer and the next school year she told me about it. I saw her excitement in it and it sounded like fun. Although, like most people, I thought she said "Stupidville" at first. I ended up going to four Steubenville North Conferences and I chaperoned one later in college.

When I transfered to a new college during my freshman year, a girl I was friends with in high school invited me to daily mass, and ever since that it became a pattern for me: mass with friends and then lunch after. It was that feeling of love and support that I felt in the beginning that led me to be a leader for many campus ministry activities in my college years. And it was a friend who told me about the ECHO Faith Formation program through the University of Notre Dame.

It's amazing to think about the impact that people have on us and the impact and influence that we can have on others. Who are you impacting today? Who is being influenced by your daily actions?

Prayer

2010-04-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

A high school religious ed class was asked to write down their answers to four questions on prayer and these are the answers that they came up with. Sometimes it's amazing to see what they come up with and to realize they have been listening in class all along!

Prayer is...

when you speak to God/a way to talk to God
important! And it's awesome to pray and God is always there to listen to us!
helpful!
amazing.
a way to communicate with God
when you want to make something good for someone else.

Prayer is important because...

we can ask for God's forgiveness
it helps us communicate with God
you can ask for help
it makes us closer to God
it makes you feel better
it can express our feelings
it's a way to talk to God whenever you need help
it gets a lot off my mind and makes me feel better and takes stress off my back and talking to God is great!

God communicates with us through...

our hearts

everything

other people
church
our prayers
dreams
life
our minds
the Bible
everything that happens in our life

We respond to God's communication with us by...

praying to him and listening to him
helping others
talking to others
believing
communicating with God
giving money to the church

Live from NCCL!

2010-04-20T19:31:00.000-05:00

I have been in Las Vegas for two days and I have one more full day left at the National Conference for Catechetical Leadership. Time seems to slip away here, probably because the days are packed with so many speakers and functions to attend. This afternoon was kind of chill and I just woke up from an hour long nap. Oh it was good.

I have really enjoyed myself so far. I have met so many people whose names I will probably not remember and have visited a plethora of publishers exhibits, seeking only the free resources and catalogs I can pick up. One of the best parts of NCCL has been receiving all the free books that I have! Turns out that if you attend a publisher's showcase (where they present their material, usually a new product), you get free stuff. This morning I woke up bright and early so I could attend the Saint Mary's Press showcase at 8am, but it was sure worth it because I received their newest bible: The Catholic Family Connections Bible. I love it! There are so many resources inside of it and it truly will make a great addition to any family's home. My thought is to give it to families who are preparing for baptism. This afternoon I also received The Catechist's Toolbox, which I was extremely excited to get. I'm hoping it can help me in the future when planning and presenting catechist trainings and meetings.

Coming to this conference has really boosted my motivation to become a catechesis expert. Well, I don't know about expert, but I would like to continue learning so that I can help others to learn and grow and help them to better teach our young ones at the parishes. Hopefully I can carry this enthusiasm into work next week when I get back to reality and sit back in my desk chair, eyes wondering out the window...

Easter and Beyond

2010-04-14T15:18:00.000-05:00

I love the Easter season: signs of new life, singing Alleluia again, celebrating the Risen Christ. It truly is a joy-filled season... but why does it have to be so busy!? So much going on at work and socially! But being busy isn't what I wanted to reflect on today.

Last Sunday we had a mystagogy session for RCIA. Unfortunately not even half of our "class" showed up, we ended up with 8 people that morning. It was still a great time, for we got to hear more testimonies from everyone. Several people mentioned how Mass that morning (one week after Easter) was more special than the actual Easter Vigil. They also said the Vigil was special in itself, but the following Mass held more meaning for them. I wouldn't have thought of that. To me it was another Mass on Sunday, although it was in the Easter season. These people were able to go to Mass with their families and receive the Eucharist. No special bells and whistles, but a normal Mass, and it was extremely special to them. How many times do we take Mass for granted? It's amazing what we can learn from those in RCIA.

Almost There!

2010-03-31T16:56:00.000-05:00

Lent can be and is a trying time for some people. Several of my co-workers at the parish became quite ill this past month. Grandparents of friends became ill and one has passed away. We can get bombarded with stories of pain and suffering, whether our own, our friends, or from the news and media. As I was talking to my mentor yesterday, she said it feels like evil is winning, with all the bad things happening in the world around us. It could be easy to believe, but as Christians, we know the ending.

All the beauty and glory of our faith will soon be brought forth in churches across the world! The Triduum represents SO MUCH! Faith and servitude we are to take up (washing the feet of others), pain and suffering, but also mercy (venerating the cross), and finally hope and new life! Jesus's death was not in vain, our Savior did not die so evil can win. He died so that we, his followers and believers, can have hope and combat the evil of the world with our love.

Those in RCIA at my parish will be experiencing the full Triduum, plus our own "holy hours" and prayer services. Although they have been going through this journey for about 7 months now, this is the time where hearts are converted and truly opened up. I am excited that I am able to participate and witness their conversions and their entry into the church. Triduum, here we come!

Holy Week!

2010-03-29T23:46:00.000-05:00

I am back from Mexico.
I got a sinus infection, probably while I was in Mexico.
It's finally Holy Week!

Sometimes Lent seems longer than it is. Can't we sing the Gloria yet? Can't we use the "A" word at Mass? When do we get to celebrate!? Well, here it is, the holiest week of the year. It's actually hard to believe that this weekend we will be celebrating the Triduum. I only have two more days of work and then I have a 5 day weekend, except, of course, for the RCIA obligations I must attend.

I've been thinking lately about how awesome the Triduum is; it's a liturgy that expands over three days! That's pretty darn awesome! Last year was my first time to experience it at a different church, and it was beautiful. My parish really does look empty when everything is taken down and the doors of the tabernacle are left open on Thursday and Friday. There is a feeling of emptiness... But then at the Easter Vigil there is a sense of great rejoicing with the Gloria and all the lights turning on. He is Risen! He is Risen indeed!

We are an Easter people, and Alleluia is our song.

Too Long

2010-03-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

It has been way too long since I've posted on here! I'm getting terrible at this, and the posts will be taking a break for at least a week because I'm going to Mexico with my family. Maybe I'll actually have some time at a computer where I can update though.

I am slightly concerned about my prayer life while on vacation. My spiritual director said I just need to make the most out of the little opportunities to express gratitude to God and simply remember Him. Larry Cunningham, a professor at Notre Dame, says that a simple act of remembering God is an act of prayer. I'll be in Mexico for a whole week, so I hope I'll have some time to reflect a little bit, perhaps journal. I have zero plans for this trip and have few expectations - although I do plan on relaxing, enjoying myself, and getting some reading done!

I really need to pack...

You Are You!

2010-03-10T17:51:00.000-06:00

If you'd never been born, well then what would you be? You might be a fish! Or a toad in a tree!... or worse than all that... Why, you might be a WASN'T. A Wasn't has no fun at all. No, he doesn't. A Wasn't just isn't. He just isn't present.

But you... you ARE YOU! And, now isn't that pleasant!... Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! Shout loud, "I am lucky to be what I am! Thank goodness I'm not just a clam or a ham or a dusty old jar of sour goosberry jam!... I am what I am! That's a great thing to be! If I say so myself, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!"

Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to Me!, 1959

Doesn't that just bring a smile to your face?

Lent? Oh yeah.

2010-03-09T17:33:00.000-06:00

Today in Fort Worth it is a beautiful sunny, 75 degree day. Days like this one remind us that spring is on it's way, if not already here, and that means new life and new things to do in the city. I don't know what it is exactly, but I am excited about Spring in Texas. Not only will that mean more beautiful days and warmer weather, but it also means longer days are soon approaching (Daylight savings is Sunday). And warmer weather and more daylight means more opportunities to do activities outside. There is so much to do in this city that I have yet to experience.

Days like today make me somewhat forget that it's still Lent. This is Easter weather, not Lent weather! But then again, why do I think that everything about Lent must be about suffering? We still have to live our lives as they are, and that does not mean going about the day passing up laughter and joy.

Today simply feels different... in a good way. This morning I had chapel time with the kids from The Learning Center, and while it has never been my favorite thing to do at the parish, the children always bring a smile to my face. It always feels nice to have it done with for the month as well. This afternoon I decided to rearrange the top of my desk and after doing so I felt like I had more energy and I was happy. What, happy at work!? In the afternoon I usually get super tired and my eyelids start to droop when I read things, but not today! Hopefully that "fresh desk feeling" will last the rest of the week.

I also thought about Lent and how I haven't been doing the absolute best with this blog. A friend decided to blog on the daily mass readings while I decided to pick something inconsistent and unplanned to blog about. Maybe it's ok if these Lenten blog posts aren't always based on something I read, but rather, a mere reflection of the day. That was the part my spiritual director really liked, that I was taking time out to reflect. Does it really matter if it is about a specific book and what stuck out to me? I was reading the Diary of St. Faustina this afternoon and it was all about despair. Sorry, but at this point in my life, I cannot relate to those specific writings.

A lot is going on right now, and amidst the busyness of work, school, and relationships, the most important thing is to always remember that I am in the holy presence of God. He is the life I breathe and the love I give, the support I need and the love I seek.

Our Mentor for Life

2010-03-07T17:21:00.000-06:00

Last week was quite the busy week! The two Echo apprentices who were before me at my parish flew in to hold a surprise dinner for our mentor. This is the last year that she will be mentoring, partially due to our diocese not renewing the program. We wanted to honor her for all she has (and still is) teaching us and simply for being an important part of our lives in the two years we each have spent at St. Andrew's. It was a surprise dinner, she had no idea! She simply thought that our director of liturgy and music was taking her out to eat to spend some quality time together. Alice was shocked and the night was amazing.

Wednesday night was also the first time that all three of us have been together at the same time. Words cannot describe how awe-inspiring it is to have a shared experience of a mentor-apprentice relationship with Alice. What was really beautiful was hearing about what the other apprentices learned from Alice and how their time at the parish still affects their lives today. I have yet to experience this, since I am still an apprentice, but I hope to be able to reflect, for years to come, on the many words of wisdom from Alice. She is, after all, our mentor for life.

Yes or No?

2010-03-03T16:31:00.001-06:00

Lent seems to become a time when we are confronted with the word "no." We fast and we give up things and we have to tell ourselves "no" when the temptation arises to forego our Lenten "resolutions." But why are we telling ourselves "no?" Hopefully it is because we're telling God "yes." At the end of Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen has a beautiful quote:

God not only says: "You are my Beloved." God also asks: "Do you love me?" and offers us countless chances to say "Yes." That is the spiritual life: the chance to say "Yes" to our inner truth... And at every point of the journey there is the choice to say "Yes" and the choice to say "No."

We try to say "yes" to God in many areas of our lives, especially when we are trying to discern His will us. I think we can answer "yes" to God's question of loving Him in various ways, through our words and actions, without realizing it - but how many times during the day are we conscious of this question and of our answer?

In 1962, The Contours asked the same question, but perhaps to a different beat...

It's About Us

2010-03-02T23:30:00.001-06:00

This past weekend our parish held its annual Lent retreat. It takes place on a Friday night and continues Saturday morning and concludes with the vigil mass. Our retreat director this year was a priest who works in a city close to Fort Worth. I have heard him on two separate occasions and I always find his words so inspirational and I find, within myself, a deeper desire to grow in relationship with our Lord. He is a phenomenal story teller, but those are just stories that often lead the audience to laugh.

At the heart of his talk, he wants us to realize that we are Christ's. We are his ambassadors and we are citizens of the kingdom of God. This isn't our world and this isn't the language we truly speak. God doesn't choose the prepared, He prepares those He chooses. We are chosen. We are the beloved. Are we acting like we are, though? Honestly, how is our prayer life? Are we seeing Christ in others as well? We have to see Jesus within ourselves before we can even begin to recognize him in those around us.

These are just ramblings... it's difficult to put into words how Fr. Hector's words touched my heart. One simple phrase that I will take away from the retreat is: God is so excellent. Would you like to know why? Because He didn't have to wake me up this morning.

Wednesday's Reflection

2010-02-25T15:03:00.001-06:00

Last night I finished the section on "giving" in Henri Nouwen's book, but that isn't what has been on my mind lately. In my prayer last night I started to reflect on how I've been annoyed and angered easily as of late. My mentor at the parish said she thinks Lent is an easy time to succomb to those times - we're also going out into the desert and what better place to be tempted and lose our sight of God than this time we're supposed to focus on Him all the more. I was going to blog about all of this last night, but...I fell asleep. I probably needed it, plus it was for the better! Today as I was reading a friend's blog I read this awesome article on preparing for the sacrament of penance, but it was also concerned with what I was reflecting on last night - going past the external things and digging deeper into the root of our issues.

This morning as I was driving I reminded myself that today I was going to choose love and kindness over being annoyed, frustrated, and angry. After all, this life isn't about me and having things my way. It's about God and doing things His way.

Today's Short Post

2010-02-22T16:14:00.000-06:00

The new Catechism for Adults if broken up into chapters and each one ends with a meditation. The one for the first chapter is taken from book 10 of The Confessions by St. Augustine. He professes his deep love for God in this meditation. He also says, "You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness." These words were used by Matt Maher in his song Alive Again, which is fantastic. I think it's pretty applicable to Lent as well. Take a listen and reflect on it for yourself. :)

Sunday's Reflection

2010-02-22T15:57:00.001-06:00

"We are chosen, blessed, and broken so as to be given."

"True joy, happiness, and inner peace come from the giving of ourselves to others."

"I think that our deepest human desire is to give ourselves to each other as a source of physical, emotional, and spiritual growth."

Nouwen has it right again! Sometimes we think that we have nothing to give others, but we forget about the gift of our own lives. We can give of ourselves in so many ways, and it's not just of our money and material possessions. I mean the true gift of self, of who we are, uniquely created and gifted to be. We can share our joys but we can also share our sorrows.

As the Beloved of Christ, he gave us his everything. All three Persons of the Trinity are life-giving. The Father gives us life and He also gives us beautiful gifts of creation and nature. Jesus gave us his life and gave us salvation. The Spirit gives us so many gifts! We only need to ask... or do we? Grace is a free gift and we don't do a single thing to merit it. Amazing.

Media Break

2010-02-20T17:33:00.001-06:00

Alright, this post isn't really related to Lent, but I wanted to give a shout out for two CDs I bought last night. I was at LifeWay and they had TobyMac's new cd on sale AND Francesca Battistelli's album for $5. What a steal. I've been a fan of TobyMac for quite some time, always intrigued by his hip hop beats and his lyrics. His albums continue to impress and the newest always seems better than the last. On his latest album, "Tonight," he has familiar sounds from previous CDs, but I'd say he has branched out in his music as well, ever growing in his creativity.

The first time I heard Francesca Battistelli on the radio I really liked her song "Free to be Me." I've heard several of her songs since then, but I was really digging her entire album, "My Paper Heart," when I was listening to it in the car today. It's neat when albums actually hold a theme to the music, and Francesca does just that. Her music is catchy and her lyrics are very relevant to the lives that we live today and becoming who we are called to be.

I'd post a video for Tobymac's City on our Knees, but because it's still new, I can't embed that particular video, but here is one from Francesca.

Little Black Book

2010-02-18T22:14:00.000-06:00

The Scripture verse today in my little black book (lenten reflection booklet) was taken from Mark 14:3 and it is about the woman in Bethany who anoints the head of Jesus with expensive oil. Placing myself into the story, I think I would have been really nervous, anointing the head of my Savior. But maybe the woman didn't know exactly who Jesus was... or did she? She came to him, freely giving a gift that was costly. Are we willing to bring our treasure to the Lord?

Life of the Beloved

2010-02-17T16:58:00.001-06:00

I am a Henri Nouwen fan. I now have several of his books but I've never actually finished one. I'm quite terrible at finishing books, unless it's fiction and I need to know how it will be resolved. I guess that is part of why I want to incorporate more spiritual reading into my Lenten journey. For the past two months I have been working on Nouwen's Life of the Beloved. It's a very simple book that focuses on us, the beloved children of God, and how we can be, become, and live as the beloved. Becoming the beloved involves being "taken, blessed, broken, and given." I'm currently reading on being broken.

We're all broken and we all know we're broken. Nowen says we are alone in our brokenness: each human being suffers in a way no other human being suffers. I can't say I've ever thought of that before. We always try to find ways to comfort the broken and afflicted and people try to comfort us by trying to be empathic. Just because I have lost grandparents to death does not mean that I will fully understand the pain that you may go through when one day you (whoever you are) lose a grandparent.

I think we try to hide and cover up our brokenness. "Everything is ok," "I'll be alright," "Oh, don't worry about me." And we never like to cry in front of people. At least I don't, and I'm sure there are others who feel the same. Last night Jeremy and I were playing racquetball. After our water break we began our second game and I was serving. The ball went behind me and I turned around to watch Jeremy hit it. I saw it alright, I saw the ball coming right at me and it hit my left cheek (I thank God it did not hit my eye). Jeremy came over and asked if I was alright and I simply started crying. Yes, it hurt, but I think I was more in shock and I think I cried for all the times I didn't cry. If I was with others I probably would have tried to pass it off and said "I'll be alright," but I told Jeremy that we should go back and ice it. Maybe the icing did help, but this morning I was almost surprised to see that I did not have a bruise on my face, it was only a tiny bit red. So yes, I probably would have been fine last night and could have kept playing, after getting over the shock of being hit, but I let my brokenness out and it felt good.

From Beads to Ashes

2010-02-16T15:44:00.001-06:00

I walked into the office this morning just in time to catch the children from The Learning Center parading around in their masks and handing out beads. I immediately received four beaded necklaces from the little ones - what can I say, I'm loved! I also have the biggest beaded necklace with a plastic mask on it hanging from the corner of my door. Mardi Gras. Fat Tuesday. A strange "holiday." You only celebrate it for the duration of one day. You don't really want to decorate for it early and you certainly don't want to leave your mardi gras things hanging up because the next day is Ash Wednesday and I can imagine the comedian, Jim Gaffigan, saying "that would be inappropriate."

So today I'm wearing brightly colored beads around my neck and tomorrow I'll be fasting and starting my Lenten resolutions. Is "resolution" even the right word to use? Well anyway, I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. In a previous blog post I mentioned giving up coffee, and while I would still like to follow through with that one to the best of my ability, I had a revelation last night (or this morning?) about something better that I could do: wake up when my alarm goes off and NOT hit the snooze button. I used to be so good about not hitting "snooze" all throughout college, but this past year hasn't been the best for that. I've been praying a lot about what I should do for Lent and I really want to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I think it has fallen to the wayside at times within the last year and a half and I want that to turn around. How will not hitting snooze help me with this you might ask? If I can get up earlier and actually get out of bed, then I can make time in the morning for some prayerful reading and reflection. Of course I want to increase the amount of silent prayer, but I'd also like to do more spiritual reading.

So here's the thing: I want to read from Scriptures or another spiritual book (ones that I have already started). In order for that reading to become something more to me and not just words I'm reading for the sake of reading, I will blog about them. It may only be a couple sentences or perhaps it will extend to several paragraphs. Whatever the case, daily blogging will keep me accountable. Disciple is hard, but it has to start somewhere and sometime...

Moments

2010-02-15T12:33:00.002-06:00

Today I watched an interesting little video about "moments." Technically, a moment is 90 seconds. I didn't know that... but who really watches the clock when they reference a moment. How do you "live in the moment" when your focus is on time? This video seems to be saying that everything is a "moment." Some moments are insignificant, others change the course of our lives. I don't think we're even aware of most of the moments in our lives. We take pictures to "capture the moment" - either we're obsessed with remembering things or we're obsessed with seeing ourselves (let's be honest, those insignificant pictures are always posted on facebook). Don't get me wrong, I enjoy taking pictures and I like to look back over them to remember the good times, but sometimes we really do just need to simply live in the moment, not worry about fiddling with our camera, checking our email or text messages on our phone, and enjoy the present and the presence of those around us.

Coffee

2010-02-02T13:36:00.001-06:00

Lent is coming up soon (two weeks and a day) and already I have decided to give up coffee. Scary, I know, but I figured this would be very sacrificial for me! So far I've gone without it today, but I'm starting to lag a little bit. Mmm water. Nope, just doesn't have the same taste or effect of coffee! So, in light of my coffee free day, so far, here are some great coffee pictures.

And quite a scandalous one I found:

Unexpected Grace

2010-02-01T17:28:00.001-06:00

We suspect the obvious

with the drone of the day distracting our thoughts,

lost in our daily routines,

bound by normalcy and the dullness of sleep,

until we are awaken by the Spirit,

embraced by freedom and love,

love dancing to unheard music in the soul

like the flicker of a flame,

enlightening our hearts, our own love,

to the Master's love.

Evolving Ministry

2010-01-26T16:51:00.000-06:00

Over the years I have done plenty of research, gathered resources, and have given a plethora of talks at various events, such as retreats, religious ed classes, or praise and worship nights at college. I loved giving these talks and sharing my inspirations and I've been reflecting on that as of late. Not so much my past talks, but ones I have done recently and how I can continue to better my ministry. I can easily say that ministry builds on ministry. I have presented the same Confirmation session (on Scripture and the Holy Spirit) for two consecutive years, but this year's class simply rocked! I took elements from the class I did last year, but I've learned more and I've grown in my own faith, and this was what was presented to the students.

Faith formation needs to hold hands with story telling. Stories are everywhere; from simple nursery rhymes to Dr. Suess to #1 Best Sellers to our own experiences. People are inspired by stories, they thrive on a good story. Stories captivate people and can be used for sheer pleasure or to teach a lesson. I want to get better at story telling, and to do that I need to be more aware of the happenings of my life and of those around me. We often take for granted the simple things of each day, but it is our lived experiences and stories that can lead another soul closer to God.

Why Them?

2010-01-13T16:36:00.001-06:00

Wow, there I was, typing my last blog post and focusing inward and on the "self" and here is a country tortured by Mother Nature, crying out in pain, and desperately looking for hope. I am amazed at the response to the earthquake in Haiti; people are updating their facebook status, blogging on it, and simply praying for this country and its people. In a world that is self-centered, it is a beautiful thing to see so many reaching out with their hearts, hands, and yes, even their wallets. If I could, I would love to go down there and help, but my own funds are tight and I wouldn't have the slightest idea of how to get involved. So I made a donation to Catholic Relief Services instead. I cannot imagine Fort Worth in crumbles all around, with limited food and water, so much junk to clear, and inadequate shelter. But of course, here in the states, we have money to quickly remove things and rebuild. How blessed we are and how quickly we forget. May God be with all those who have died, who are injured, and the survivors who are still surviving.

Wrestling with God

2010-01-13T15:39:00.000-06:00

Working on this Confirmation talk has led me to write a second blog post inspired by my preparation. The students receive a handout at each session, so today I was reading the front page and was struck by one sentence:

From our ancestor Jacob we learn that we must wrestle with God and struggle with ourselves to become the persons we want to be.

The story of Jacob wrestling with God is quite interesting and is found in Genesis 32:24-30. Jacob and an unnamed man wrestle all night long, but Jacob kept his strength and prevailed against the man. It is at the end of this fight that Jacob's name is changed to Israel and he is blessed by the "man." How many times have we wrestled with something and have given up, not having the courage, like that of Jacob, to continue?

I cannot say that I have "wrestled" with God, but I can say I have struggled with things and questioned God about them, crying out "why me?" Sometimes it feels like we cannot do anything about the struggles that we face, such as experiencing the death of a loved one or being extremly tired of being single. We struggle in our hearts to face the reality of events and how to cope with our emotions. We need to face our own struggles and not become passive about life, sweeping hurtful events under the rug. Of course, we also have to continue on with our lives at the same time. If we don't figure out how to struggle and cope with things, then who is the person we are becoming?

In our world today that is filled with so many distractions and pressures to be strong and keep our lives to ourselves it is easy to dismiss our lives. We're so wrapped up in the struggles of others, especially the ones the media portrays as significant, and we forget our own lives. We're human, it's ok to cry.

Love

2010-01-10T01:25:00.000-06:00

Love is not a feeling, love is a choice.

Who will you choose to love today?

Creation

2010-01-05T16:33:00.000-06:00

In a couple of weeks I will be presenting at a Confirmation session on Scripture and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. As I was preparing a bit for this talk I was reading a resource that discussed "engaging the senses" in faith formation. It used art as an example, and I thought of the St. John's Bible. It is the first hand-written, illuminiated Bible in over 500 years, and it was done in Minnesota! I think I'll use this image with the high school students. It's an interpretation of the creation of the world.

Add-on for the Day

2010-01-04T16:01:00.001-06:00

Just saw this on another blog, thought I'd share it here, too!

hat tip to the Ironic Catholic

Happy New Year

2010-01-04T15:51:00.001-06:00

This morning I walked into my office at the parish and everything appeared normal at first. It's always nice to see a clean desk! But then I noticed something different. Upon my clean desk, tucked in by my computer, I found a little dark blue teddy bear. Ok, well that's not so weird, you might think. Someone in the office left me a surprise gift. Well, on his chest is a year, and it's not 2010! In gold stitching it reads, "2000." Why would someone give another person a bear that is ten years old!? I'm not offended or upset, it certainly was a sweet gesture, but also very odd.

Recently I've been thinking about that time period between 2000 and 2010. I've heard a lot of mention of this past decade, and on Saturday morning I definitely stayed in bed listening to the American Top 40 countdown. Turns out Usher's "Yeah" was the number one song of the decade. Who would have thought?!

This past decade has probably been one of the most influential ones for me: it encompasses all of my major schooling, from high school to my Master's degree. And I must say, I believe these years are the ones when we are most formed into who we are and who we become. Of course we cannot disregard our childhood and upbringing, but high school and college were the places were I certainly had my fun, but also my struggles, and I grew into the woman I am today. The year 2000 does not seem like it was that long ago, but it really was!

I thought I'd have more to reflect on, but I went to a meeting and lost it all. Oh well! Today I've been listening to the band A Fine Frenzy, and I really enjoy them! Check them out!

Micah

2009-12-22T11:36:00.002-06:00

I never knew the book of Micah was so cool and had so many Bethlehem references until this past week and the readings for Mass. :)

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

2009-12-21T11:33:00.000-06:00

Oh hey, looks like my dream has come true! It is 61 degrees in Fort Worth and 20 degrees in Eau Claire (although it says it feels like 12), and there is about a foot of snow here. Brr. According to the weather we are supposed to get a lot of snow this week! I'm so excited! Snow on Christmas eve/Christmas day is a wonderful gift... unless, of course, it keeps my mom and I from driving to my grandma's house out in rural Wisconsin on Christmas day.

One of the best parts about being home are the lazy days. Sleeping until 10am, not showering, and not caring about looking nice because I'm not going anywhere today! I hope to do some reading, praying, and writing today (and throughout break). I would like to blog more, hence my random post for today, and I haven't been writing poems lately, so we'll see what I can scrounge up over this break.

It is fantastic to be stress-free and not worry about homework or real work! Happy (last days of) Advent!

The 4th Candle

2009-12-20T12:02:00.001-06:00

Well, here it is, the fourth and last Sunday of Advent. I started a blog post reflecting on Advent a long time ago, but I never finished it so I never posted it! I have never experienced a more busy and stressful month, but amidst the hussle and bustle I praise God that we have the liturgical season of Advent to remind us all to slow down and prepare for Christmas. To wait with a purpose. Right now I'm waiting to go to Mass. Today I'm waiting to go home (I fly up to WI at 6pm this evening). And during this Advent season I am waiting to celebrate the birth of Christ, to rejoice with Mary and Joseph and to worship and adore like the shepherds and wise men.

Who's on First

2009-12-17T23:33:00.003-06:00

I've seen this played out before and ran across it on youtube. It's funny, so I thought I'd share.

Reflecting

2009-11-18T00:58:00.001-06:00

On my drive home today I was thinking about a lot of things and one question that popped into my mind was: Can you love someone even when they don't love you back? Even if it's just a friend, is the relationship one sided? Well, after that question I immediately thought about God's love; He loves each and every one of us, but not everyone loves Him in return. Even when we strive to have a relationship with God we experience our failures and human nature. He is always there, waiting for us, but how much can we compare this divine relationship with our human relationships? When do we have to let go? Why don't we want to let go? Even when I get hurt I continue on, thinking things will be ok. I think I have too much faith and hope in humanity.

Fresh Poems

2009-11-17T11:49:00.001-06:00

I have not been writing lately, but it turns out when I experience a lot of different emotions in a 24 hour period I get very inspired to write. Here are two poems I wrote last night before going to bed.

Hello Love

Hello Love,
Where have you been?
I must have missed you
on the street,
passing by.
I missed you at the store, too.
I thought you'd be stocking up
on batteries and
light bulbs.
I thought I would see you
at work today,
we had a meeting.
Wasn't I supposed to
meet you at church?
Wait, here you come,
touching my eyes,
so I never miss another
glimpse of you
again.

That Dog

He chases shadows and bugs,
scaring away the nothingness
of the night with his bark.
He stalks the fence,
preventing dreams from
happening at the house next door.
He interrupts my thoughts,
keeping my tired mind awake
on my warm pillow.

This Year in Ministry

2009-11-04T16:10:00.001-06:00

I have only been back at my parish for just over two months now, but I feel as if I have learned and experienced what true ministry is in these months than I did in all of last year. It is probably due to my lack of ignorance and my increased responsibilities in my ministries.

Like any place of employment, there are issues with the staff. We all have our different personalities and ways of working. Some of them I absolutely love and I have been incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to work with them. I do feel as if I've grown into the "family" of my staff and the parish. Some of us even go out for "Girls Night Out" - aka, Happy Hour. We play well together. :)

This morning I called a friend up, but I had young adult business things to talk to him about. I knew he wasn't going to exactly like what I had to say, but I was not expecting him to get so frustrated. He did not even understand me correctly! I had to explain myself a couple times, but I still did not appreciate hearing his anger and frustrations.

I have also been learning how to work (and deal) with catechists. They're only volunteers and sometimes I think we try to hold them to higher standards. Which...maybe we need to at times, so they take their work seriously. Sometimes it seems like a game, having to word e-mails just right to people do not get offended or misunderstand what you are trying to say. There is also fine line between micro- and macro-managing things. This fall has had it's ups and downs, challenges and joys, but overall I continue to love what I'm doing.

Catholic Speaker Spotlight: Deacon Ralph Poyo

2009-10-26T21:44:00.001-05:00

When I first heard Deacon Ralph Poyo speak at a Steubenville Youth Conference, he was in a gymnasium with approximately 1,000 girls. He read us a love letter from God, and from that moment on he became one of my favorite speakers. Through his words the Holy Spirit touched each and every one of our hearts. Deacon Ralph does not speak for himself, he is a spokesman for God.

In his talks, Deacon Ralph is energetic and humorous, calling himself a hobbit because of his short stature. More importantly, he is passionate about what he speaks on and his passion engages his audience. He has a deep love for Jesus and he wants to bring Jesus to the hearts of all those who hear his words. His message for everyone is how to be a follower of Christ and that we must be willing to die for him. Jesus loves us so much and gave his life up for us, and we, too, were created to love.

Deacon Ralph is not afraid to share about his own life story in his talks. He came to accept and know Christ his senior year of high school, but that does not mean his life was picture perfect after that. He openly admits his addiction to pornography and the challenge of finding and living a life of purity after that experience. He also shares stories of his family; he is a father to five girls. He is, literally, the man of the house, asked to fix things and kill bugs. I can certainly relate to that: asking others to kill/get rid of insects for me. :)

Today Deacon Ralph Poyo continues to speak at many Steubenville conferences in the summer and he also runs New Evangelization Ministries, a parish program to renew evangelization and convert hearts. You can also listen to the deacon speak at different conferences and retreats on the Newsletter and Media link at the top of his website. He is definitely worth checking out!

Want to find out more about other Catholic speakers? Check out Fallible Blogma's Support a Catholic Speaker Month here.

The 13th Day

2009-10-15T12:23:00.001-05:00

This week I was able to see a screening for The 13th Day, a new movie about the apparitions of Our Lady of Fatima. To be honest I was a little skeptical and almost did not go to see it, but I am glad I did! I thought it would be a super long and boring film, but Catholic film makers finally know what they're doing! The 13th Day is very unique because most of the film is in black and white. With the lack of color they do a phenomenal job of using shadows and different lighting.

Many Catholics today have probably heard of "Fatima," and what The 13th Day does is make it come alive. There was a miracle in 1917 that 70,000 people witnessed, but we do not hear about it anymore. Have we lost our faith in miracles?

I think they played up the children, the three seers, and downplayed the messages Mary gave them. The secrets of Fatima have all been revealed, but I think people could see this movie and be confused on the messages. Of course, the main message is clear: Pray the rosary daily! I can't say that I do, but seeing this film made me think a little bit more on my devotion to our Blessed Mother and the importance she has in our lives.

Who Are We?

2009-09-21T17:30:00.001-05:00

I apologize for the length of this post. This afternoon I received some upsetting e-mails and this is my response and reflection to them:

As young American Catholics we need to ask ourselves “who are we?” in the broader context of the Church. What do we truly believe and how are we carrying out the gospel message? Today we are faced with many inculturation questions: in our personal lives, our work, and our parishes, and this is not just in Texas.

Two weekends ago my parish began to introduce a new Mass setting, “Misa Luna.” The bishop wants all parishes in the diocese to incorporate this into Sunday worship because this is the setting that will be used at diocesan-wide events. There is an option for doing it bilingual, and my parish has decided to use it. Most of the parts we sing are in English and only a couple we have sung in Spanish. They continue to introduce new parts week by week.

Today I, and many other staff members, received an e-mail from a young married woman. She said she is very sad today because her family is leaving the parish I work at. They have been here for 8+ years and it is where she went through RCIA. Her reason for leaving is the switch to singing bilingual Mass parts. She said she was sad, but her responses are what sadden my heart: “If you don't speak English, I think you should go to a Spanish-Speaking or Vietnamese-Speaking parish. We will drive farther and go out of our way to attend an entirely English-Speaking church because that's the language we speak.” And in a response to my e-mail she said:

“Why is it okay to have completely Spanish-Speaking Parishes, completely Vietnamese-Speaking Parishes but no completely English-Speaking parishes? Why do my children have to learn a language that is different from that of our Constitution, that which is printed on our Dollar Bill, that which our President delivers his national addresses in?”

I do not know why this woman has such strong feelings and perhaps she had a negative experience in the past. But isn’t this the American attitude that we need to fight against? Who are our neighbors? And if we cannot accept and welcome our neighbors into our lives and into our places of worship, then who are we as Christians? Paul fought against similar attitudes: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Gal 3:28).

We cater our world to what we want. We fit things into our own boxes and make decisions and actions that are selfish and uncaring of others. Sure, communication would be easier if we all spoke English, but what about the beauty of inculturation. If we simply pass on the opportunity to learn about other cultures, the rich traditions they carry, and even their language, then we are rejecting our neighbor, our brother, our sister.

If we answer the question that Jesus asks us, “Who do you say that I am?” and proclaim him to be our Messiah, the Christ, and we profess to be followers of him, then we need to answer the question “Who am I?” in light of those responses.

Mindfulness

2009-09-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had a phone conversation with the Associate Director for Echo; it was our fall "check-up," to see how things are going. We had a small discussion on mindfulness because I told her about my unwinding ritual of drinking tea every night. She brought up something she read on living mindfully...always being aware to the moment we are living in.

Well, ironically, today has been very unmindful. Oy. I completely forgot about my birthday lunch: some of the ladies from my parish wanted to take me out a day early. This morning I figured I wouldn't go into work until later since I'll be there late because of religious ed classes, so I did some homework at the house and hoped to get in to the office by 12. At 12:10 I was about 4 minutes away and my mentor called, wondering where I was. Oops. I was planning on getting to the office and finishing my homework, which I needed to post by 2pm. And then...lunch... Well, turns out I got my homework done in 15 minutes, though it can't be very good.

I feel very anxious right now. I've been thinking about a guy too much! But how do you get someone off of your mind!? I need to relax...breathe...and be mindful of this day.

Tomorrow is my birthday. :)

Ugh, homework.

2009-09-02T11:18:00.001-05:00

Here I am, back at it again. My last on-line class for my M.A. through Notre Dame. Praise the Lord! I'm working on my discussion post right now, which is supposed to be 300 words. I have 200 so far, not too shabby since I haven't finished it yet! The only thing is that we're studying Thomas Aquinas right now. I cannot wait to get to the other part of the course, but that will be in 5 more weeks... Thomas is great, but way too intellectual for my own good! I'm taking my sweet 'ol time working on this assignment. My Pandora station helps get me through it. An Echo friend suggested Joshua Radin and I love the music that comes with it! It's very chill and occasionally it plays more upbeat songs. It's a great station for work, besides the praise and worship stuff. :)

Ok, back to discussing what the reality is of the Eucharist.

A sacrament is so termed because it contains something sacred... the Eucharist contains something which is sacred absolutely, namely, Christ's own body...
ST III.73.1 ad 3

Tea Time

2009-08-31T11:51:00.000-05:00

This year is going to be extremely busy. Not only do I have a bit more responsibilty at my parish but I am also the new co-coordinator for our Diocesan Young Adult Council. Oy! That means an extra meeting once a month and lots of extra emails: checking up on the teams I'm "in charge" of and communications with the Core Team. And of course I have my lovely class I'm taking and all other social young adult events. *Takes a deep breath*

With that being said, the past few nights I have taken to brewing myself a cup of tea and reading a bit from a book. I think I'll be making this a nightly ritual, it is such a great way to unwind! I think I'll be reading something different every night, but all the books are related in some way to spiritual reading.

I'm also trying to stay on top of keeping my room clean. As an ENFP I tend to neglect common household chores - oops! I have been trying my best to stay on top of my dirty dishes, and I must say, I have been doing quite well! I'm still in the process of cleaning my room, which wasn't very clean when I left for Notre Dame for the summer. Not only will I feel more at peace with life once it is clean, I'll be able to relax even more in my room since I won't have to worry about picking stuff up and/or sorting through junk in drawers. It's a process... but I'm working on it! I have a lack of storage space in my room, even though have a walkin closet.

I'm looking forward to a peaceful year and learning how to manage my time better. That is a lifelong process, I know, because it can change when life events change.

He awoke, and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" The wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
Mark 4:39

Back to Texas

2009-08-17T17:36:00.000-05:00

I find myself once again in Texas. So many things are changing, developing, evolving, and growing. I only have one year left at St. Andrew's and I'll be looking for jobs in Fort Worth soon. I was reminded today of a youth minister position that is open in Denton...I might have to get my resume finished quickly to get it to them!

I look forward to this upcoming year with great anticipation. I will have more responsibility at St. Andrew's, being in charge of high school religious ed and helping out with middle school R.E. as well, and I am the new co-coordinator for the diocesan Young Adult Council. Hopefully this will all be manageable! I'm also looking forward to developing all of my relationships more this year. I met a plethora of amazing people last year and I'm sure this year will provide many opportunities to get to know them more, plus even new people! There is one particular relationship that might be developing into something more... :)

I should continue to unpack...I'm really bad at this game of getting clothes from my suitcase(s) to the closet.

"Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances..."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Celebrity Awesomeness

2009-04-27T11:28:00.000-05:00

Check out this news article on a celebrity who is speaking out on abortion:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,518087,00.html#1

Leaky Eyes

2009-03-23T00:14:00.000-05:00

I don't know what it is about the movie Raise Your Voice but it never ceases to be able to make me cry. The story revolves around Terri's brother dying in a car accident. He had just graduated from high school while she is a couple years younger than him. It's extremely sad to see her (and their parents) struggle and learn to cope with Paul's death. It's also a story about self-discovery. The last time I watched it I came home from college - I'm not sure if it was for the summer or on a break - but that night I balled my eyes out! I guess I needed a good crying. At this point in time I think the brother/sister relationship gets to me. In a couple months my brother will be deporting for Iraq. I'm sure he'll be fine, but he'll also be gone for 9 months (or something like that). Christmas is going to be quite strange without him there. Things get difficult enough splitting holidays now that my parents have been divorced. It's approaching five years now, but time doesn't solve all problems.

Things continually change in life but we have to keep on living. The most difficult part can be just that, figuring out how to live with the changes. It took awhile to transition to living here in Fort Worth and sometimes I feel as if I'm still in that transition.

A Simple Quote

2009-03-15T11:58:00.000-05:00

Here I am, in my office on a Sunday afternoon, waiting to go to the 12:30 Mass. Between RCIA and Mass I decided to pick up a book I had briefly began a month or two ago called "The Sun and Moon Over Assisi." It is the story of one man's conversion sparked by the Franciscan way of life and he then writes on the lives of both St. Francis and Clare. In the book he quotes another man who wrote one of the many biographies on St. Francis.

Paul Sabatier, in his introduction to his Life of St. Francis of Assisi, writes: "One must not ask too much of history. The more beautiful a sunrise is, the more difficult it is to describe it."

I found that last sentence to be rather profound and full of truth. It's also touching to me because two weeks ago I saw two of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen in awhile, they were simply breathtaking and I did not want to turn my gaze away. Unfortunately, one of the evenings I was driving, so I had to pay attention to the road! But in those moments I reflected on the beauty of God and how he wants to romance us in such little ways.

March Storm

2009-03-11T15:07:00.000-05:00

The clouds roll in
kissing the wings of birds in flight.
Branches swaying at its whisper,
the shadow from sun a delight.

Rain dances down
soaking into the worn grass.
Puddles forming at its touch,
the mirror image broken like glass.

Thunder storms in
breaking the silence of night.
Dreams cowering under covers,
the wait is long for the light.

Linking Posts

2009-03-10T14:53:00.000-05:00

It turns out that I never finished my thoughts on gratitude... I think things got quite busy that day. Today I spent the most time and energy on a blog post in awhile and it has the length to prove it! I thought I'd link to it from this blog. So here it is:

http://waitingforpursuit.blogspot.com/2009/03/beauty.html

In Gratitude

2009-02-10T12:23:00.000-06:00

As we move through our daily actions we can forget, so easily, of the many things to be thankful for. This morning I was reflecting on my Echo community and how many of us have faced, or are facing, some struggles in our lives, whether it be due to death of family, medical situations of others, or depression in loved ones. These situations affect us and our lives, but we have too much to be grateful for. My grandfather passed away last Thursday, but I am very grateful that he lived such a long life (90 years) and that he had such a peaceful death.

I am especially thankful for my friends and the different communities I have, whether they are from college, Echo, or new friendships here in Fort Worth. I am extremely blessed to have such wonderful support and I feel so loved by everyone!

to be continued... (got caught up in my day)

My Texan love grows...

2009-02-01T22:50:00.000-06:00

Thinking back to my anger and horror about finding out that I would be in Texas for two years is kind of funny now. Who would have thought I'd love it this much!? God has some amazing plans for us that we discredit too easily. I do not know what my future holds...but maybe it involves Texas...

Before I went back to Wisconsin for Christmas break I thought about the prospect of living in Texas for a year or two after Echo. I've found such a wonderful community of friends, plus who can complain about the weather!? When I went home, though, I changed my mind. I didn't care for having to travel by plane to go home for the holidays, plus there was a sense of peace when I was in Peoria; I do enjoy that city!

Now I feel torn about where I'll be after Echo! At this current moment I'm leaning more towards Fort Worth. It just seems so weird to think about living here! Reflecting on it, my thoughts are these: even if I were to live up "north," such as Illinois, how often would I see my parents there? Of course, certainly more than I would see them living down here, but it wouldn't be all the time. Most of my friends from college are spread throughout several states, so it's not like we'd ever be together again as a whole. I have an amazing group of friends down here and I continue to meet new people! I know I would make new friends if what ever city I live in, but this group is almost irreplaceable! Friends become your family and I know I can depend on these people. And I sure do love the weather!

I shouldn't be worrying about this right now, I have a year before I have to start looking for jobs. It has been on my mind though. Right now I simply need to enjoy the present moments and the blessings God continues to shower upon me!

Retreat Reflections

2009-01-29T12:23:00.001-06:00

Last weekend I went on our Echo Winter Retreat up in Indiana. It was amazing to spend time with our communtiy at large and to laugh and share stories with one another as we did in the summer. The theme was "The Beloved Waiting in the Heart of Darkness." Deep, huh? In all seriousness, I loved it. While at Adoration I wrote a small reflection, which I'll share now. The second is a small poem also written on the weekend, and the third is a reflection I wrote during our end-of-summer retreat.

"In Mary's Mantle"

I cling tightly to her cloak, covering my eyes in fear of the unknown. I wish to hide myself behind her, cowering from the world. She seeks out my hand in gentle compassion, but I put it in my pocket. "My child," she softly whispers, "come out to the world. I will protect you in the midst of trial and terror. Let me hold you in my arms and wrap you in my mantle. I only ask you to come out from hiding so you can live life fully and experience love as God intends for you." I took her hand and she uncovered my eyes as my heart filled with joy and a tear fell from my cheek.

Darkness

Darkness, a true offering,
though not one of despair.
A hope for love, a hope for peace.
The flood of tears that filled the night
brought comfort to the solitude.
A longing to love and to be loved,
only fulfilled in the One
whose name is Love.
A soul faced with its deepest desires.

Reflection from Isaiah

I am a daughter of God, one of His beloved, and He has given me a name. He calls to me to chase His will and follow His heart. I can't do much except obey. And where else is the safest place but in the arms of my Father? In them I am also wrapped in Mary's mantle, with her loving gaze looking upon me. And in Adoration I can gaze lovingly upon the Lord - but it is such a mystery!

Another poem I found, titleless and without a date

2008-12-04T18:43:00.000-06:00

A distant hum of music
surrounds itself with voices.
The summer closes, the darkness quickens.
Crickets, hidden in the night,
play their music.
The constant sound softens my thoughts,
breathing slows,
my heart is calm.
The altar, prepared for a king.
Candle scent lingers,
lights flicker.
Prepare yourself.
Enter within the mystery
the deep love of the divine.
The depths of the ocean and
the limitless night sky
cannot compare
to the love that is here.

(ps: this is one of my own poems that I found in my journal. I was written sometime in the fall of '08)

A Tug on the Heart

2008-12-03T14:47:00.000-06:00

Let words ever linger on your lips
and the gaze of your eyes never faulter.
Your gentle touch, a soft summer breeze,
the whisper of your love a soothing melody.
In the secret of your heart I can be found.
You give yourself wholly,
asking me to do the same.
I seek rest in your spirit,
a peace that quenches my thirsting soul.

Not understanding...

2008-11-25T14:09:00.000-06:00

How do you show someone you like them when it might not matter anyway? Or it's too late.

5 Love Languages

2008-11-07T18:14:00.000-06:00

Today one of my housemates sent out these "tests" on the five love languages because she wanted to see what we all were (or what speaks to us more might be the better way to put it). The first website I went to was an actual quiz, the second was the website about the book The Five Love Languages. I had heard of the book before and maybe briefly heard about what they were, but now "how mine rank." It was somewhat difficult taking the quiz as a single woman because they are more directed for one to think about how they feel love from their significant other. So mine were more hypothetical, what I would look for, what I would prefer. My top answer was quality time. I find that spending quality time with another, having their undivided attention, is very important. I can certainly be those one-on-one moments, but I also think phone calls can be nice too, especially when the other person listens and really cares about what you have to say. The same goes for friendships. I love hanging around people, with large groups, but I need my one-on-one time with friends as well!

My second highest ranked was physical touch. I think this is more true in significant relationships than just friendships. Sometimes people (girls) can be too "touchy-feely" and that gets annoying. But in relationships with guys, physical touch can be a huge thing, whether it is just a simple hug or arms touching. But guys, be careful! I think this is true about most women, we will look too far into physical touch and think it means something when you may not have thought that at all! I mean, seriously, how many times have we, as women, gotten excited over a simple (and maybe even accidental) action of arms touching while sitting near a guy?

These certainly are interesting to know about, especially in the context of a significant relationship, I think they are very important to know. The other love languages (besides quality time and physical touch) are: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, and acts of service.

What's Wrong with our Country?

2008-11-04T22:11:00.000-06:00

I was watching the election news tonight and saw that it wasn't going anywhere fast so I started flipping channels, seeing if anything else interesting was on. I flipped back to the station I was watching and saw Obama was elected... and that all happened within 5 or so minutes. I was so mad, still am, actually. I feel like crying for our country. Well, I guess we'll get to see if he upholds his words or if he really was just "talk" and rhetoric. As for the morals of our country... well, we're screwed. Pretty sure Obama is the number one supporter of Planned Parenthood. The thing I am scared and worried about the most is the Freedom of Choice Act. My heart is heavy with the election of Obama. We have to step up 20 notches in the pro-life movement. FOCA cannot be signed.

God is so Good

2008-09-29T23:44:00.000-05:00

Wow. This journey I have been on has led me many places, I have certainly passed through trials, but joy has also captured my heart. Tonight I had one of those joyous moments where all I could explain was "God is so good."

I met this one girl about a year and a half ago when I was a junior at Saint Mary's. The following year she did NET, so I haven't had much contact with her. We're friends on facebook and through another friend commenting on a note she had written, I went to read it myself. It was this beautiful story on how she went through the consecration to Mary when she was 18 and decided she wanted to do it again. Things weren't working out for her when she wanted to re-consecrate herself to Jesus through Mary. Finally the time was right and it seemed like everything fell into place for an incredible day and Mary showed her, in many ways, that she was there for her. Simply stunning.

So then I was reading Divine Mercy in My Soul, the Diary by St. Faustina. I was also thinking about how we never know God's plans, but He always has the most wonderful plans for us. It is so hard when things don't go our way. We simply have to trust and Jesus will lead us to a glorious life full of wonderful surprises, and of course, his love. Anyway, one of the paragraphs I read tonight was about the vision St. Faustina had. The vision of Divine Mercy, with Jesus raising one arm in a blessing and the other touching his heart, with two rays coming out, one red and the other white (or blue). Jesus instructed St. Faustina to paint that image and underneath it, at the bottom, was to say "Jesus, I trust in You." Whoa! Wasn't I just thinking about trust? And all of a sudden I was reading this!?! I couldn't believe it! God is so incredibly good!